One Big Happy Mess

What Homeschooling Is Teaching Me

2012-02-01T16:15:00.000-06:00

I am constantly amazed at my ability to teach my children things like math, languange arts, science, and geography. But, what amazes me even more is what God is teaching me.

You see, I am a big picture girl. I see the world through a very large lense, or some people would say "from 10,000 feet". And for many things that is wonderful. It has helped me so much in my walk with God. My faith has always come quite simply to me because I don't get bogged down in the tiny details. I don't spend an enormous amount of time worrying about how something is going to work out. For instance, when Michael lost his job a couple of years ago, it wasn't hard for me to "rest" in the idea that God would provide because I didn't spend a lot of time worrying about the "how"...the details. Don't get me wrong, it isn't like this for everything, but it is like this for most things.

I consider this a blessing, but it does have it's disadvantages too. Because I don't see the details in most things, I have a very hard time accomplishing things that require alot of attention to how to get it accomplished. I have told Michael many times that I hate that I have so many great ideas but don't possess the skills to turn those ideas into realities. There are many things that I will not do because the how requires too many steps to get to the end result and I get so frustrated with the the details that I quit. For example, sewing, scrapbooking, planting a graden, playing the piano...I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

So, imagine my surprise in the past few weeks when God began to show me that teaching my Kindergartener to read was going to require me to follow a step-by-step, detailed road. That I couldn't just show her words for her to memorize and expect her to be able to read. I just see the big picture...the ability to read; not the process that it is going to take to get her there. To be very honest, it has been a struggle for me. Not because I don't want to work hard to get the end result, but mostly because I have never been patient enough to allow myself time to get there.

So, what am I learning? To be patient in the process. To find the right people and programs who can teach me the right way to teach her. And then to be patient. To be patient with the process, to be patient with my daughter, to be patient with myself, and to be patient with God. Thank you, God, for being patient with me! Boy, I thought I was a patient person...apparently not.

Storing Up Treasures in Heaven

2012-01-11T06:51:00.001-06:00

For a long time I struggled with my significance as a stay-at-home mom. When I left the corporate world almost 11 years ago to stay home with my first born I had no doubt that it was what I wanted to do. Being a wife and a mother was what I had wanted from a very young age. But, in a culture that places so much emphasis on career and money, my decision to stay home wasn't always well received during the transition from that world to this one. People didn't understand why I would want to give up my life or the money (not that either were that glamorous in the first place). And after coming home I felt very insignificant most days because I didn't feel I was leaving my "mark" on the world. But Michael and I knew that it was what God wanted for our family and whatever sacrifices we had to make for me to stay home were worth it.
Fast forward to today. Almost 11 years and 4 children later, I have had many instances that make me so glad that I have chosen this life. The other day the kids were talking about jobs and money, and they said to me, "Momma, you don't work."
I replied to them, "Oh yes I do. I work very hard, everyday, taking care of your daddy and all of you and this house."
"But, you don't make any money, " Bella said. At which point the other children responded in agreement.
So my response was, "You're right, I don't make any money. But, I have decided to store up my treasures in Heaven. The bible says that we should not store up our treasures here on earth where moths and rust can destroy or where thieves can break in and steal, but to store up our treasures in heaven. So that is what Mommy is doing."
After that there wasn't another response until yesterday morning. I had taken two of the children to the doctor and was waiting at Wal-greens for their prescriptions to be ready. Micah had made his way to the toy aisle where he had found his favorite thing that he plays with, Pokemon cards (and btw, if you can explain the fascination of trading cards to me I would love to hear it). He asked me if he could by them. After a lengthy conversation that involved questions like, "don't you have enough?" and "is that REALLY what you want to spend your money on?" I conceded to allow him to spend his money on them. We got the cards, the medicine, and we were on our way.
Then it happened, one of those moments that I store in my mental Rolodex as a small win in this life of mine. As we are driving back to the house Micah says to me, "Mom, I really need to pray about something tonight."
I say, "what about, buddy?"
Then he says, "well, I really need for God to help me learn how to store my treasures up in Heaven. I mean, I really like Pokemon cards but I need to be storing up my treasures in Heaven."
My heart swelled up so big and I felt so thankful. I agreed with him that we would pray about that together. Of course, then he followed up with, "Does that mean that when I die I get to take my Pokemon cards with me?" That's my boy! He was sort of serious and sort of joking, like he does so often.
I just said to him, "No, buddy, the Pokemon cards will not go with you. But, when you get to Heaven you will never look back and think, 'man I sure wish I had those Pokemon cards'. The treasures in Heaven will be SO much better than our favorite things here on earth that we will never look back and wish we could go back and get our stuff." At that, he was satisfied...for now.
It was such a wonderful reminder of several things. One, they ARE listening, even when I feel like I am talking to a brick wall. Two, I AM making a mark on the world. Four marks to be exact. And three, this earth is not our home. Christ has prepared a place for us where our treasures will be far beyond what we can even fathom while here one earth, where moths and rust can not destroy and thieves can not break in and steal. Praise God! Amen.

Homeschooling-First week down

2012-01-08T22:43:00.001-06:00

So, we had a good first week of homeschooling. The kids were very excited about it and wanted to get started right away first thing Tuesday morning (Monday was a holiday). Bella, especially, wanted to get started right at 8am like she did in public school. The only difference is that her teacher in public school didn't have a 19 month old following her around all day, laundry that needs to be washed, breakfast dishes to be cleaned, or any of the other 20 things that I do on any given day. Needless to say, she wasn't thrilled at first with the lack of "schedule" on our first day. If I am allowed to be honest, I was pretty stressed at times, feeling that I was failing. One time Bella said, "Mom, this doesn't feel like school at all." Another time she said, "I don't think this is going to work." And yet another time she said, "I am so afraid I am not going to learn anything." All of these statements did not help my feelings that I was somehow failing my children.
On Wednesday, it was another somewhat stressful day because Micah had a relapse of his stomach bug, so we did school very unconventionally, as we spent most of the day in the bed or on the bedroom floor while we did most of our work.
After Wednesday, Michael and I decided that we were definitely going to use Time4learning for Math and Language Arts supplements and so on Thursday the kids were signed up for that and it helped A LOT! They are able to log themselves on and do their work for a designated amount of time and for the most part they are pretty self-sufficient. It is during that time that I will work one-on-one with one of the other children.
By Friday the kids were getting used to the new schedule that we are forming. We get up and begin to get reading around 7am. (Aria and Victoria sleep until 7:30 since they are younger and require a little more sleep.) Once the children are dressed, fed, and ready for the day then we sit in the living room to read our Bible lesson, discuss it, and pray. Can I just say that this is my favorite thing so far about homeschooling the children? We have ended their day for a long time now with reading the Bible but to begin the day with that and actually have an open-ended time to sit and talk about what we are learning is absolutely wonderful.
After Bible, we straighten the house. The kids help me clean the kitchen from breakfast and then they straighten their room and the living room. Micah even washed his first load of laundry the other day, I was so proud. This has been a big adjustment for the children because since we now have more time to get things like this done my expectations are higher for them. It may take some time but eventually they will get it.
Around mid-morning the kids do things that they can do pretty independently, like handwriting, reading, P.E. (they play Just Dance or they play outside) and math on the computer. Then after lunch when the baby goes down for her nap we do Science, Geography, and Language Arts.
A few things that I have noticed after this week is that I am SO much more tired at the end of the day and getting the laundry folded is impossible. The children seem to be getting along MUCH better than they did when they were in school, probably because they are no longer so tired all the time.
For the most part, I am very pleased with how things are getting started and look forward to seeing how things fall into place over the next days and weeks.

Homeschooling and Time4Learning.com

2012-01-01T17:58:00.001-06:00

Two days from now our family will embark on a fabulous and terrifying journey into a whole new world. The world is called "Homeschooling". For all of reasons for homeschooling you can refer to my earlier post, that was the WHY?, this is the HOW? I have read up on many, actually too many, curriculums for homeschooling. There are WAY too many options out there, like deodorants and scrapbooking materials, the options are endless and daunting. After years of research I finally settled on a curriculum, My Father's World. I bought the curriculum and then something happened. I began to think that maybe we needed to take a hiatus from "traditional" learning and try something a little more laid back and child directed. A fellow homeschooling friend who has three boys turned me onto www.time4learning.com. It is a computer based curriculum that is based on grade and/or level. The children log into their own personal account and then follow the path through different topics. After all the assignments on a particular lesson are completed, they are then tested on everything they have learned. The website keeps track of all their assignments and grades which I can print out at report card time and turn into my cover school. It will be used mainly for math assignments and also used as a supplement for Language Arts, History, and Science. I haven't changed my mind about My Father's World, I plan to begin that in the fall when the new school year begins. But, for now, I think this will be the easiest for all of us. The transition from public school to homeschooling is a BIG one for everyone, so if we can do things that are fun and uncomplicated that will be best for all of us. Also, another plus to using computer based learning is that it is VERY portable. If we decide to go out of town, we just take the computer and some library books rather than a whole suitcase full of curriculum. And they can move as fast or slow as they want/need to. We are very excited about this and look forward to letting you know how the next 6 months go.

It's Official-10 Reasons Why

2011-11-22T14:48:00.001-06:00

Well, I guess it's official. Today I received the homeschool curriculum that I ordered and as I pulled each book out of the box there was a feeling of excitement and I must admit a feeling of fear. I believe with all of my heart that this is what God is calling me to do at this time in our family but I must be honest and say that I am scared to death. The battle between flesh and spirit is very evident right now. My flesh cries out, "No more quiet days, no more alone time, no more running errands while the kids are at school." But my spirit says, "The days are long, but the years are short."

I have had several conversations since finally making this decision about "why" I have chosen to homeschool. Unfortunately if I tried to write them all down, you would stop reading this blog about halfway through. But, I thought I would try to give just a few. Once again, not to convince anyone that what I am doing is right but to explain, and hopefully encourage anyone who might be on the fence. You see, for too long I did not feel that I was qualified to teach my children. I am not a teacher. I do not have a teaching degree. I am just a mom. But, I have realized that makes me just as qualified, or even more so, to teach my own children. For those of you who might be contemplating homeschool, but don't feel qualified, just remember this...noone knows and loves your children the way that you do. And no matter what anyone tells you that makes you more qualified in my opinion. Should everyone homeschool? Absolutely not. But, if you are feeling the call and don't because you are afraid, I am here to tell you, so are the rest of us. Welcome. Jump on in, the water is warm.

1. My children are learning to do ONLY what they HAVE to do and nothing more. I do not feel that they even realize their full potential of what they are capable of learning and the school is not pushing them to that.

2. Bullying and social exposure- need I say more?

3. Homework, in addition to the hours they already spend in school. Not to mention that most of the time they haven't grasped the concept at school so we are spending additional time researching the method (because much has changed in 30 years) that they were taught so I can continue to teach it to them until they get it.

4. They are not learning very important life lessons, like how to wash/fold clothes, clean up around the house, and cook because after being at school for 8 hours and then doing an hour of homework the last thing they want to do or I want to ask them to do is to do chores. I feel they need to have some time to just be kids.

5. They hate school but love learning. I want my children to realize that they don't necessarily need a teacher in order to learn. They are very capable of learning on their own and that when they make mistakes, that is good. Mistakes are portals to discovery.

6. I love the idea of being able to travel throughout the year and take our schooling on the road. I also like the idea of being able participate in performances, scouts, sports, etc and not have to worry about them missing school or being too tired the next day because they didn't get enough sleep.

7. Being able to move at the child's pace and not the school or classrooms' pace. Micah love science and math, but struggles with reading and writing. Being able to spend more time on reading and writing and allow him to explore further the areas that he loves is very important to me.

8. I want to be able to teach my children about sensitive subjects like sex and drugs.

9. I realized that I was already homeschooling my children with homework, and having a preying mantis as a pet, and all the other things I teach them every day.

10. I love my kids and since I only have them for a few more years, I want to spend as much time with them before they are off on their own doing whatever it is that God will call them to do.

New Directions

2011-10-28T11:16:00.000-05:00

It is amazing to me how true the Scripture is "The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps". I have made so many plans for my life that much to my delight did not turn out as I had planned. I planned to marry my college sweetheart, God directed me to Michael instead. I planned to be married by the time I was 25, God didn't bring Michael into my life until I was 28. I planned to be done having babies at two children, God surprised us with two more. I planned to NEVER come back to Birmingham, God changed my heart and brought me "home". I planned to live the American Dream, God is showing me His dream. I planned to homeschool my kids from Kindergarten on, God didn't call me to homeschool until now. This is just a small list that proves Proverbs 16:9. I would love to say that I am done with planning my life and my kids lives, but it is in me, in us, to "plan" for the future. The world tells us that it is smart to do just that. Plan for children, plan for buying a house, plan for retirement, plan for a career...plan, plan, plan. But, I am beginning to get it. I need to stop planning. The fact of the matter is if I had married my college sweetheart, I probably would be divorced by now. If I had had children as young as I wanted to I would not have been a very good mom. If I had stopped at two children I would have missed so much joy that my 3rd and 4th children have brought into my life. If I were living the American Dream, I would be a slave to my things rather than free to serve. And if I had begun to homeschool my children 5 years ago, well, who knows. I am not really sure why God waited so long to give me a peace about homeschooling but He did and I am trusting that He has a very good reason.

I must say that I am SO excited and SO scared about homeschooling all of my children. I want so much for all of us to just love everyday of it, but I know that is an unrealistic expectation. I know that there will be days when we don't enjoy it at all. But, I have had confirmation after confirmation that this is the new direction that God is taking our family. I have no idea how long it will last, but we are taking it one year at a time. My plan is to begin blogging more about this journey, and other journeys that God has us on. Not really so much so that other people can read our story, but more so that I can have a record of the journey. And if it winds up helping someone, then that is an unplanned blessing.

Bring the Rain! Really?

2010-07-20T07:10:00.001-05:00

We sing this song in church by Mercy Me called "Bring the Rain". I have wondered many times how many people sing this song and REALLY mean what the words say (including myself). Bring me ANYTHING that bring you glory. WOW, that is a BIG statement! I have been reading David Platt's book Radical, he tells the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He says, "The reason God let these guys be thrown into a fiery furnace was so that they would come out on the other side without a drop of sweat on their brows and so that this pagan king would declare that the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego is worthy of praise in all nations and languages." WOW! They went through a trial so that God's GLORY would be seen and He would receive praise. Do we really believe that these guys didn't have some fear and trepidation about what was going to happen when they were dropped down into the furnace? I am sure, being that they were human, that they did have fear, but I also am sure that they had resolve! They had resolve in their God and His ability to save them. They knew He would either save them in the fire or He would save them through the fire. They had the hope of their salvation, knowing that even if the fire where to completely consume them, they would be seeing God face to face in a short period of time. And when they came out on the other side not only was their faith strengthened but the heart and mind of a pagan king had been changed and the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob received the glory. That is pretty awesome if you ask me. So, as I look at what Michael and I are going through there is definitely some fear and trepidation but I think to myself that if my family can come out on the other side of this and our faith as individuals and a family has been strengthened, we have been a witness to the people around us that can strengthen their faith, and God is glorified, then I say "bring the rain"! Because I know that my God can save me and if He doesn't I still have the hope of my salvation and that brings me peace.

Below I have put the words of the song by Mercy Me- Bring the Rain. You can also listen to it on the link I have provided (I would encourage you to do this). To GOD be the glory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU

Bring the Rain-Mercy Me

I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

Little reminders

2010-07-19T07:18:00.000-05:00

God is everywhere. You don't have to look far to see His hand at work all around us. He is in the beauty of our creation, a sunset, a rainbow, a smile. He is in the skills and abilities of the people around us. He is in the loving words and hugs of friends and family. And sometimes He is in the stranger that helps us when we are stranded.

Yesterday morning was my first Sunday back singing at church since the baby has been born. I was very excited. I love to sing. And more than that I love to worship God and encourage people to do the same. It is one of my greatest passions. I had gotten up early and decided to take my two oldest with me so Michael would only have two children that he would have to get ready. I was running a little behind and couldn't find my cell phone, so I left without it, telling Michael to call me on a friends phone if he needed me. We got in the car and headed to church. I decided to go the back way through a neighborhood rather than taking the main road. As I get into the neighborhood I feel the car start to sputter. I look down and realize that the car is on empty. I started contemplating turning around to try to get to a gas station but as I roled through the stop sign the car died. My heart sunk because I was going to be late for our run-through. It was at that point I realized I had left home without my cell phone. Well, crap! Not good! Bella suggested that I go to the house that we were parked in front of. As I approached the door I prayed that someone would be home, that they would not have children, that they would be awake. I knocked on the door and around the corner comes this little elderly woman in her nightgown. I mouth to her, "I am so sorry". She comes to the door and I explain to her what happened and ask if I can use her phone. As I walk into her house, it dawns on me that I don't know my husbands new cell phone number. Well crap! Now what! So I decide to try my cell phone thinking he will hear it. Nope! So, she suggests that her husband can take me to the gas station to get some gas in the gas can. Another "oh crap" moment. I had dinner at a friends house the night before and left my purse so I have no money. As this point I start thinking that this woman is going to think I am crazy or that I am going to rob her or something. I sit down on her couch to brainstorm while she gets her husband. He comes in and suggests that he might have some gas in his gas can. Low and behold a few minutes later I see him walking to the car with a gas can. During those few minutes with this woman I learned that they go to a nearby church and that she has played the piano for them for 30 years. She was so proud to show me her plaque that she had recieved in honor of her service at the church. I asked her for prayer for my husband's job and our family. She hugged me and I was on my way to church. I got back in the car and my oldest said, "Momma, God showed up!" I know, baby, He sure did!

The story in the bible that jumped out at me later that morning was the story of Moses as he is leading the people through the wilderness. He provided manna for them and told them to only gather enough for the day, any more than that would rot by the next day. Funny thing is they even tested God in that tried to store up but it didn't work. That morning God provided manna for me and the kids. He didn't fill up my tank, He gave me just what I NEEDED to get me to church. Thank you, God, for reminding me that you are there and that my family and I will be taken care of. Amen!

Amazed

2010-07-18T14:35:00.000-05:00

As I have time to think about our current situation I am amazed for so many reasons. Yesterday I spent the morning in my kitchen pulling things out of my cabinets that I don't need that I can put into a garage sale. I am amazed at how many things we moved into this house that we haven't used since we moved in. I am even more amazed that when we moved into this house 2 1/2 years ago we were in the same situation that we are in today, without an income. Why did I move all this stuff in the first place? I mean, really! How many bread loaf pans do we REALLY need. I think I only use one and I have 4. Crock pots-2, 9x13 casserole dishes-5, cake pans that I don't use, bunt pans I don't even know what to use them for, cups and glasses galore, and the list goes on. I am amazed that that is just my kitchen. I am amazed that just a few weeks ago my son asked me if we could have a garage sale and I told him that we didn't have enough stuff to put in a garage sale, and yet in about 2 hours I had three boxes of just kitchen stuff. (And a box of stuffed animals that my oldest brought in to contribute-I am amazed by her too!).

I am also amazed that while we look at this time in our lives as temporary there are thousands upon thousands of people in our country and around our world that this is the reality of their daily lives. Read these statistics that I read:

1. On the national scale, Alabama has the 7th highest poverty rate at 16.1% of its population. It only has one county in which the poverty rate is in single-digits, and that is Shelby County with a poverty rate of seven percent.

2. About 39.8 million Americans were living in poverty in 2009, up from 37.3 million in 2007.
3. Almost half the world — over three billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day.

I know that we are not living in poverty. I wouldn't want to offend anyone by claiming to completely understand what it is like to have to live under those conditions but when you realize you don't have an income you realize how blessed you are to have all that you do have, and then guilt sets in. How can people, even people 20 minutes from me, live in such terrible circumstances while I have so much and me NOT do anything about it? And yet I am amazed at how you can visit places where people live in poverty and yet there can be so much joy (although I know this isn't always the case). I can not understand how that is even possible. And yet, maybe there is some truth to the saying, "money can't buy happiness."

So, our new motto: LIVE ON LESS, SO WE CAN GIVE MORE.

How Prophetic

2010-07-15T22:43:00.001-05:00

Ok, so three days ago I posted how God had called us to a 3 month challenge in regards to our finances (for details read post for July 12th). Well, obviously God was preparing us for something because yesterday Michael was laid off. It's amazing that He had already prepared us by getting us into the mindset of living extremely modestly. The greatest part about the whole thing is that we don't have to tell the children if we don't want to because they are not expecting to get ANYTHING extra for the next 3 months. I mean, why burden their little minds if we don't have to. I am also amazed at the support we have, not just from family and friends, but from very close friends who are also going through the exact same thing right now. We have four other people who are close to us who have all lost their jobs in the past 2 weeks.

I will still be posting regularly what is going on with the Smith Family Challenge, it will just have a little bit of a different spin in light of the new circumstances.

Smith Family 3 month challenge

2010-07-12T10:32:00.003-05:00

For years now God has been working in different areas regarding our finances and we have made many changes. We stopped using credit cards, we got rid of satellite TV, we only have one cell phone, we drive cars that don't require us have a car payment, we don't go on fancy vacations, we live in a modest rental home, we wait for movies to come out on DVD rather than go to the movies, although we do splurge for family fun night occassionally:-). We have scaled back in many ways. It has been a process that has occurred over the past 5 or six years, although most of it happenned when Michael was unemployed for 6 months in 2008. It has happenned so gradually that most of the time we haven't even felt the effects. But in the past couple of months WITHIN our means, we have not done well with living on a budget. So, at the end of the month, while all our bills are paid and we have had food and clothing and even some fun, what we don't have is extra. Not extra to spend but extra to save and give. I sat down with a calculator and our bills and our last months bank statement and devised a budget. It includes necessities only. It will be interesting to see how God uses this 3 months to grow us as a family.

Here are the rules of the 3 month challenge:
1. We MUST live according to our budget and do a zero balance worksheet with each paycheck
2. No eating out
3. No new clothing (except for shoes for back to school)
4. No household projects
5. No new books, games, movies, etc.
6. Kids must save every penny of their allowance for the 3 months
7. We must find free things to do for date night and family nights

So there you go. It will be hard but it will be fun to see how things turn out. Stay tuned, I will be updating.

God Speaks

2010-06-15T20:53:00.000-05:00

I don't know if any of you have ever witnessed a night terror but they can be one of the scariest things to watch. Both of my older children have had them. It started around the age of 4 for Bella. She would sit up in the bed hysterically crying with her eyes wide open. She would look straight at you but it was as if she could see straight through you. If you talked to her she would talk back, although most of what said you couldn't understand. The whole time she was inconsolable crying. It is so frustrating and scary to watch your child go through this and not me able to do anything. You just have to ride it out until it is over. And they eventually grow out of them. Micah started having them too and they were very much the same as Bella's only he would try to get away by backing himself up against the wall and he would wave his hands around as if he were trying to swat something away from him. The only things that seem to work were when we would pray over them or I would sing Amazing Grace. Sometimes that would calm them down pretty quickly but not always.

Bella hasn't had one in about a year or so. Micah just stopped a couple of months ago. But, the coolest thing happened right before Micah's ended. He had gone over to a friend's house to spend the night one night. the friend's parents are good friends of ours and are very strong Christians. The next night we were putting Micah down to bed and we were talking to him about his "bad dreams". We got out his Bible to do his devotional and I asked him if there was any scripture that he wanted to read. He said, "Yes. Proverbs 2:24." I opened up the Bible and this is what it says, "when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." I stopped and asked him if Trent had read that scripture to him the night before. He said, "I think so." So, Michael called Trent to say thank you for giving us such a great scripture to pray over Micah before he sleeps. Trent told Michael that he had not read that scripture to Micah the night before. That is when we realized that God Himself had given Micah the scripture. We have prayed that scripture several times over him and shortly after that his night terrors stopped.

The other really cool thing about it is that Micah is always talking about how God never speaks to him and how He can't hear God. But, when this happened it was clear that through God's Word he spoke to Micah. It was an amazing experience for all of us.

Thank you God. Thank you for your Word. Thank you that you love us enough to speak to us. Just give us the hearts and ears to hear You. Amen

What A Day

2010-06-14T21:20:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday was by far the worst day that we have had with Victoria since she was born. We went to church and she was just fine until the music was over. It amazes me that she can sleep with the band playing and people singing and clapping, and then as soon as the sanctuary gets quiet (or somewhat quiet) and the pastor starts to preach she wakes up and starts fussing. So, I had to leave the sanctuary several times because she would get quiet and then as soon as I would go back in she would wake up again.

After church we went home and she had a hard time napping all day. We were going to go over to my in-laws house and let the kids swim after church. She was so fussy that I sent Michael and the kids and I stayed at home with the baby. I must be honest, initially this was nice, sending Michael and the kids out of the house to do something while I stayed in a quiet home with the baby, but for some reason yesterday it just made me sad. I wanted so much to be with them swimming and getting sun.

Then last night she started crying at 6:30 and didn't stop until almost 9:00. And it wasn't just fussing or crying for a little bit and then stopping, it was hard, intense, have to take her clothes off because she is profusely sweating kind of crying. It is such a helpless and frustrating feeling to have a child who is crying and they can't tell you what is wrong and you can't do anything to help them. I just held her and spoke to her and let her cry. The crazy thing was that at around 9:00 it was as though someone flipped a switch and she was asleep.

The other thing that is so frustrating about the whole situationis that I miss the rest of my family. When the baby gets like that I have to quarentine myself off in my bedroom. I miss the kids and they miss me. They have all said in one way or another that they miss me. Bella has written it in a "Dear Dumb Diary" note, Micah has been real fussy and short-tempered, and Aria has flat out said "no one loves me, everyone loves the baby". It is hard to watch my sister and my husband taking the kids swimming and having fun with them and I can't do that.

Ok, so I thank whoever said the phrase "The days are long but the years are short". Man do I cling to that saying on days like yesterday.

And today, I must say, was a MUCH better day. Thank you God!

1 month old picture

2010-06-11T10:31:00.002-05:00

Taken by Sarah Cook of Cookwire Photograhy

1 month old today

2010-06-10T07:57:00.003-05:00

I can hardly believe that it has been one month since our sweet Victoria joined our family. The past four weeks have flown by and it is a sobering reminder that our children grow up so fast. Sometimes alot faster than we would like...sometimes not fast enough.

She has just moved right in with the family and it is as if she was always here. The children love her to death. Bella loves to lay next to her and talk to her. The fun thing is that Victoria has started talking back, which we all just love. Aria wants to hold her all the time and thinks that the baby is her personal babydoll. And Micah loves her head. He loves to rub it and kiss it. He says that he loves it because it is so soft. I agree with him, I love to rub her soft head too.

She is smiling and talking alot more now, although it was around 2 1/2 weeks that she smiled for the first time, even if it was somewhat involentary. It is so cute now because she is trying to figure out how to make sounds come out of her mouth so she is constantly making faces.

It is these things that make the fussy times more bearable. As with most babies, she is getting more fussy as we approach 6 weeks old. She is becoming more alert and with that comes increased fussiness. It is hard sometimes but we know it is temporary. This too shall pass and I know I will look back and miss this time.

41 weeks 1 day- Birth Day

2010-05-10T21:00:00.000-05:00

Victoria Michelle was born today at 5:43pm. She weighs 7 pounds 11 ounces and is 19 3/4 inches long. She is beautiful. I will write her birth story in the next couple of days.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T11:18:00.000-05:00

Today is Mother's Day, one of my favorite holiday's of the year. Nine (9) years ago I celebrated my first mother's day by bringing my baby girl home from the hospital. I was so overwhelmed with emotions as the nurses came in and told me that the OB and pediatrician were working on the paperwork and I would be released as soon as everything was done. "WOW, are you serious? Your going to let me leave the hospital with this new little life? Are you sure you know what your doing? Because I am so not sure I know what I am doing!" I was so scared. I was now responsible for this little person and I felt that I needed to know everything but actually knew nothing. Over the days, weeks, months, and even years, my new phrase became "I don't know." "Why is she crying? - I don't know." "Is she hungry?- I don't know." "What do you want me to do? (Michael would ask)- I don't know!" It was so frustrating at times because I thought before having children that I knew so much. I had babysat and nannied for years. I had so much experience with kids I thought I was a pro, but there is something totally different when you bring home a baby that belongs to you that you are responsible for completely. But, what a blessing that little girl has been to me and our family. Happy Mother's Day to me!

40 weeks 6 days- Celebrating Birth

2010-05-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

Ok, so things are still the same. Contractions, cramping, backaches, but nothing is going anywhere. I know that people think I am crazy that I am still pregnant. Most thought I would deliver before now and since I haven't most people think that I am crazy not to schedule an induction. I know that it is not typical to "choose" to continue to be pregnant when there are so many things I could do to but really I truly believe that when she is ready she will come. There are so many risks to inducing labor including fetal distress with low heart rate, increased chance of c-section, and more painful labor requiring epidural. I know that the end result is the most important, having a healthy baby here, but that may not happen with induction. My doctor is totally fine with waiting so I am waiting too.

As anxious as I am to have her here with me in my arms, I am really ok with waiting. We spend 90% of our lives waiting for something. Once she gets here I will be waiting for her to sleep through the night. Then I will be waiting for her to smile at me. And then roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, etc, etc, etc. I just want to enjoy every moment that I have, and right now I have been a few extra days to enjoy my husband and children.

I have had one last date night with my husband, which was wonderful!!!!

Today went to Micah's soccer game. The weather was perfect and he thought it was great to have everyone there to cheer him on.

Then this afternoon we had a surprise birthday party for Bella. It was great. She was SO surprised. With the baby coming so close to her birthday I wanted so much to reassure her that her birthday will always be special to us. We had all the family over. Michael took her out while we waited for everyone to get here. When he got here we jumped out and surprised her. It was awesome. On the 11th she will be 9 years old. Unbelievable.

Anyway, we are waiting patiently and enjoying each other until we add another. Just keep praying for us.

40 weeks 4 days

2010-05-06T12:27:00.000-05:00

We are still here as of 12:30pm. It's ok though. I am resolved and at peace with where I am. I am enjoying my kids, my husband, my sister, and my freedom. I have even planned a "date night" with my man tonight that he doesn't know aobut yet. I know he will be happy to have a night out with me before the baby gets here. If anything changes today, I will update. Otherwise I am going to take a nap and enjoy a night out with my husband.

40 weeks 3 days

2010-05-05T20:11:00.001-05:00

Today was a good day. I went to my doctors appointment and had an ultrasound and non-stress test. The ultrasound was fun because I got see our little girl. I would much rather be holding her but at this point any look at her was great. She was not very cooperative with the sonographer. It was funny. Everytime the sonographer would try to measure her head she would turn it funny so she couldn't get a good picture. She is a very active little girl. Oh, I also had her check again to make sure it is a girl. I have been a little worried that maybe they were wrong and it would come out a boy. If that was the case we would have NOTHING for him because EVERYTHING is pink and purple. But, it was very evident that it is definitely a girl.

After the ultrasound I did a non-stress test. I just laid on the table and listened to her heart beat. It is very strong and very fast, about 149 bpm. There was no change in the dilation but that is really normal for the 4th baby. So we are still waiting. Dr. H did mention induction but doesn't think that it will be necessary. That really is my biggest fear about being late, but I know that the main thing is getting her out safe and sound, so if it comes to that I will just have to be alright with it.

After my appointment I spent the day with my sister. We took Aria to get shaved ice (a daily craving of mine) and went to a consignment shop. It was really beautiful so sitting outside eating shaved ice was great.

Last night, after dinner, Sis and I went for a 30 minute walk. It felt so good to get out and walk. I am going to start doing that everyday until the baby gets here. Hopefuly not much longer now.

40 weeks 2 days

2010-05-04T09:45:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to update everyone. Things here are holding steady. Yesterday I had contractions all day that got progressively closer all day long until last night around 6 they were coming 5 minutes apart. We put several people on "alert" just in case. But, after the kids went to bed they started spacing out. I decided to go to sleep because I wanted to be rested if things picked up again. I was up several times last night with strong contractions that were about 10 minutes apart but this morning I they are spaced out again. It is very frustrating but I am determined to let her come when she is ready. My original due date was the 9th, so maybe technically I am not even late yet. Who knows? I brought Isabella home on Mother's Day 9 years ago, so maybe I will have the same blessing this year. Just please pray that Michael and I will be patient during this situation. Actually we need patience with the situation, the kids, and each other, since all of us are REALLY ready to meet the new addition to our family.

Update:
So today shaped up better than it started. I was depressed this morning so I called my girlfriend, Sarah. I went over to her house for a while. We made salsa and talked and laughed. It was a great distraction for me. After that I went home, straightened the house, and then went to pick up Bella. After I got the kids we went to Sonic, bought Bella some shoes, and then made it a chiropractor appointment. She did some procedures that hopefully will induce labor, so we will see. By the time we got home it was time to cook dinner and get the kids ready for bed. Now my sister is on her way over to spend the night. All-in-all it's been a pretty good day, even though I am officially the size of a beached whale.

Waiting...

2010-05-02T07:05:00.000-05:00

Well, here it is, May 2nd, my due date and our little girl is obviously content. I mean why wouldn't she be? She is in a spa environment. She's in a hot tub, being fed, and although she can hear some noise, it is muffled. And almost daily now she is getting a foot massage. Who would want to leave that?

On the flip side though is a host of people who are anxiously awaiting her arrival. I have had everyone from family to the librarian asking me when we are going to get to meet her. Unfortunately, I do not know. You see, I am not an induction/c-section kind of girl (and have nothing against those who are). I was induced with Isabella on my due date and the experience was difficult on both of us to say the least. I had contractions that were so painful that I had to have a epidural (not a problem for some people but I personally wanted a unmedicated, natural birth experience). After the epidural, my labor slowed (which is common), and then Isabella went into distress. When she finally came out they wisked her away from me for almost an hour to suction her stomach and lungs to make sure she had not injested any meconium. I was terrified until I heard her first cry which was about 10 mintues after she was born.

So, needless to say, when we were blessed with Micah I wanted things to be different. So, I went totally natural with him. He came about 3 days early and the experience was just wonderful. Was it painful? Excruciatingly so, but it was so worth it. I felt so powerful and alive, like I had just conquered the world. I was immediately ready to do it again (I know, I have heard it a million time, I am crazy). Micah came out and I held him immediately. He didn't cry at all, until the took him away to clean him up.

After Micah, we vowed we were done. We had our girl and our boy. That was good enough for us. I family small enough to still fit into a 4 door sedan. Perfect. Obviously we had not heard the quote, "if you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans." Because four years and two months later we brought Aria into the world. She came into this world just like Micah did and the experience was once again absolutley wonderful. A little more painful than I remembered from Micah, but still exactly the way I wanted it. And might I add that God apperently know what he is doing because she is such a perfect addition to our "not-so-little anymore" family. We could not imagine our family without her.

After Aria was born we had to get a minivan becasue we no longer could fit into a 4-door sedan. And can I just say, I love my minivan. I know that there are many people out there who do not like minivans but I love mine. Anyway, now here we are 4 years and 3 1/2 months later and we are waiting again for the new addition to our family. The waiting has been so much more difficult this time. Partly because Micah and Aria came the week before my due date and partly because the kids are very anxious for her to get here so they ask me everyday if she is going to coem out today. Even Michael has been somewhat impatient.

So today I rest in the shadow of the almighty and wait patiently for the Lord. Not an easy task, I must say.

On My Knees

2010-02-26T17:56:00.000-06:00

You know, there are many difficult things in life. Some I have experienced and many I haven't. I have walked through the fires of depression, rejection, and overcome several major obstacles in my life. I have given birth three times (soon to be four), and two of those times has been without medication. (Yes, by choice. I am crazy, I know). But, out of everything I have ever been through, nothing has rocked my world like parenting. When I stepped into the world of motherhood almost 9 years ago, I had NO idea how much it would change me and challenge me on a regular basis. God has taught me so much through my children. He has used them to teach me about what love really is, and what it is not. He has taught me about how to forgive myself, my past, and other people. He has used them to teach me about how He is my Jevovah-Jireh (my Lord who Provides), because no one can really ever "afford" to have a child. He has shown me through them that He is my Jehovah-Rapha (my Lord who Heals), for there where hurts in my life from my childhood and decisions made as an adult that haunted me that were not healed until my children came along. He has shown me that control is an illusion and that He is the ONLY who deserves the name El Elyon (God Most High). I have become more patient, grace-filled, and merciful, but also more firm (which believe me, is a tough balance to find and even tougher to maintain).

And yet, as my children get older I am finding that I am being challenged on a whole new level. I am the steward (along with my husband) that God has entrusted with the job of shaping the heart and will of my children. Of course, I know that it is God who draws all men (and women) to Himself. But, we cannot deny the important role of a parent in a child's life. My children are now 8, 7, and 4, and we are constantly fighting the "battle of the wills". I want my children to obey-they on the other hand want to make their own choices. We have graduated from disciplining their behavior to training the heart's motive behind the behavior. It is requiring very intentional parenting on our parts, which is MUCH more time consuming. It requires wisdom and discernment, which only come from God Himself. I mean, there are times when my children insist that they were "only kidding" or "just playing" or "telling the truth" and I really don't know what the truth is or what the right answer is to "solve" the problem. The Bible says "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child" and "the heart is deceitful above all things and without cure". Only a personal relationship with God can "cure" the diseased heart. I get frustrated with the meanness, selfishness, uncontrolled anger, lying, stealing, lack of respect, and so on that come from my sweet children with such ease. And yet on the other hand, I see so much of that in my own heart and their behavior shines a very bright light on my own sin. How to do you discipline one of your children when you see so much of the same in yourself? It is ridiculous. I know it is my job and I take my job very seriously. So as I work on my children I am constantly reminded that I need to allow God to work on me.

Anyway, so I realized something recently that has put all of this into perspective for me. I didn't overcome depression-God did that. I didn't heal my fear of abandonment and rejection-God did that. I didn't overcome debilitating guilt-God did that. I didn't will myself to be more patient, merciful, and grace-filled-God did that. I don't come up with great ideas on how to deal with my children-God does that too. So, you may ask, what DO you do? I PRAY! I have decided that I will fight the battles that I can fight, and the rest of them I will fight on my knees. I can't do this, not on my own. Without God and the power of the Holy Spirit I will never succeed. Praise God that He has made a way for us to succeed.

If we are the body...

2010-02-23T13:35:00.000-06:00

I met with a sweet friend this morning who is going through a divorce. She has been married for a long time but after years of trying to make the marriage work, they have just decided that it is over. They are both Christians but just have not been able to find a common ground that both of them can stand on. There has been some speculation about the reasons for divorce and whether or not it is biblical, and even they have struggled with the latter, but this is really not about the divorce. It is more about how we a the "body of Christ" are supposed to respond to this sort of thing. We have hundreds of people in our local churches that are hurting in ways that some of us can not imagine. There are people getting divorced, people addicted to alcohol and drugs, there are people addicted to pornography, sex, and food. There are people who are on the verge of suicide or even worse, families dealing with a family member who has taken their own life. The list of hurt can go on and on.

In the area of divorce, especially between two people who claim to be Christians, many people seem to struggle with how to be there for them. People speculate about the details behind the divorce, wonder WHO is a fault, and judge whether the divorce is "biblical". The person going through the divorce many times winds up feeling "outcasted" by the very family that has claimed to love them. I know many time people just don't know how to respond, so they don't. But, I would ask this question...how would we be there for someone who has lost a spouse or child to death? In many ways a divorce is no different. It is in essence a death. A death of a dream, a relationship, a future. It is painful and lonely and scary. At the point when the couple decides that divorce is the only viable option all the other questions really should become irrelevant. It is not our place to play judge on whether or not the divorce was biblical or who fault it is that it is happening. And on the point I would just like to say that in my own experience with marriage any problems that Michael and I have had in our marriage are usually as a result of both of us doing or not doing something. It is typically a collective effort between the two individuals. That being said, I know that this isn't the case in EVERY divorce, sometimes it is very cut and dry.

So, as the body of Christ, let us not shy away from hurting people. And if you think about soemone you know who is hurting, whether you know them well or not, say a little prayer for them. But don't stop there, drop them a note, call them, or go by and see them and let them know you were thinking about them and praying for them. You might be surprised by how few people have actually loved on them that day. And if we are the body then that is our greatest commandment...TO LOVE.

Oh, and before anyone gets mad and feels that I am being judgmental myself, let me assure you...I am preaching to the choir on this. I am not without fault when it comes to all of the things mentioned above. I have been very convicted lately to really LOVE people and I am trying to pray through what that means and what it looks like. I am still trying to figure that out.

Getting Close

2010-02-21T20:20:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I haven't blogged in a long time, a really long time. I have thought about it many times but just have not had time to sit down and actually get it done. As most people who have children would agree, life during this phase of your family is very busy. And the more you have the busier you can get. I have been raising my own children, along with three other children for almost a year and a half now. The artist is 8 1/2, the athlete is 7, the diva is 4, and then I have a 2 year old, a 1 year old, and an 8 month old that I watch. Of course, to make things even crazier I am also 7 months pregnant. Most days I love it, but at the end of the day I am exhausted. Most people have the same two questions: Was this 4th baby planned? And will I continue to keep kids after the baby gets here?

The answer to the first question is yes and no. This baby was not planned by me and my husband, but she is most certainly planned by God. Our initial reaction to the news was shock. I would be lying if I said that we were excited when we first found out. Our lives had hit a new level, our family was to a point that traveling was easier and fun. We were out of the diaper and nap stage and relatively happy about it. Oh sure, I would get baby fever every now and then, and then as quick as it would hit, it would leave. Our newfound freedom was nice and it took some time to grieve that loss and embrace the idea of starting over again. Now, 7 months later we are excited at the prospect of having another entity in our home. We are getting excited about what she is going to look like and what kind of personality she will have. We are praying for an easy baby, but if we don't get that then God's grace will be sufficient.

The answer to the second question is a little more fuzzy as I have not quite decided what I am going to do. I know that I am going to take the summer off but after that I am not really sure. What I do want is to focus on getting to know our new baby and helping the entire family adjust to her presence in our home. So, what fall holds, I don't know, but if I do start watching children again it won't be 3 of them, that's for sure.

So, with 10 weeks left until our baby girl arrives, I thought I would try to start blogging again. Facebook is great and all, but it is impossible to tell stories on them. So, keep checking back because I have a list of topics that I want to write about.

Make HIM famous today!!

2009-05-29T07:52:00.002-05:00

This morning I was in the living room my little man and we were watching videos of Matt Pitt preaching at The Basement. I told Micah that I really hope that there are ministries around like this when he and his sisters are teenagers. Micah looks at me and says, "Wow, Mom, Jesus is really famous." I said, "You're right Micah, He is very famous. But, you know what? It is OUR responsibility to make Him famous." I love these conversations with my kids!!!

Just like the media exposure makes people famous, we are God's media exposure. WE are His PR people. Make Him famous today!!!!

Glimmers of Hope

2009-04-19T11:50:00.002-05:00

This past week was a very difficult week. The daily battles of parenting have weighed heavy on me this week as I have witnessed behavior from my children that is the antithesis of what we teach at home. Mind you, all normal behavior for fallen human beings, but disturbing none the less. It was one of those weeks that I wondered if my children were getting ANY of the Christian values that we are teaching at home and whether or not they making a difference. We have entered into a new realm of parenting where with the older two where we are no longer trying to just correct behavior but also shining light on behavior that comes from sinful hearts. This, for me and many other people I know, is very difficult because while I want my children to understand what the Bible says about their human depravity, I also don't want them to grow up in a legalistic home where they are "Lorded" over with the Bible. There have been a lot of instances this week where I have been called mean and unfair, which I know comes with the territory of parenting. In trying to teach my children about their human depravity and need for a Savior every day of their lives, I am constantly reminded of my own depravity. I yell at them and find myself sitting camped out on their level and then not only asking for God's forgiveness but my children's forgiveness also. I have heard many times this week, "I just can't...be kind, hold my tongue, control my temper, get this scowl off my face"...whatever the case may be. And they are right, THEY can't. I am trying to teach them that in some cases, they will be successful on their own, but in many more cases they will have to pray and ask God for his strength and then be obedient to what they know is right, whether they feel like it or not.

Anyway, so after a difficult week, with a lot of time-outs spent in their rooms and several spankings, I saw a glimmer of hope that I might just be doing something right.

This morning on the way to church and then back home again Isabella was having a VERY difficult time saying anything nice to anyone, especially her little brother. She seemed determined to drive him into madness. We call that around here, "spewing your venom" and she was definitely doing just that. I did what any parent would do and I told her if she kept it up she was going to find herself in her room until her aunt's birthday party. She didn't stop so she had to go to her room when we got home.

The firs thing that surprised me was that when we got home I didn't have to tell he again to go to her room, she went on her own. After a few minutes I went into her room and sat down on her bed. Here is the conversation.

Me: "Isabella, I first want to tell you thank you for going to your room and not arguing with me."
Isabella: "Mom, I am sorry. I don't deserve to watch Nim's Island (which I was also contemplating as a consequence).
Me: You're right, you don't. But, because you admitted that you were wrong and obeyed me by going to your room, I am going to extend grace to you and let you watch Nim's Island."
Isabella: "Thank you, Mom. I love you."

WOW!! I was floored because that has NEVER happened before. I know, I know, It's not over yet, not by a long shot. But, at least there is hope.

How about a knuckle sandwich?

2009-03-26T10:48:00.002-05:00

This morning as the kids were eating breakfast I was discussing what they wanted for snack. Isabella was being her normal "picky" self declining everything I offered her for snack. Finally she decided on strawberries. I asked if she wanted anything to go with them, since strawberries burn off pretty fast. She was thinking...

On the other side of the table was Micah, eating quietly, having not said anything since waking up. And while she was thinking and everything was silent he just as straight-faced as he could be he said,

"How about strawberries and a knuckle sandwich? That should hold you off until lunch."

Needless to say, the tension was broken and I spent the next few minutes laughing, as did everyone else.

Beautiful Girl

2009-03-26T10:44:00.001-05:00

Guypalooza 2009

2009-03-23T12:26:00.002-05:00

Last Friday afternoon Michael went camping with several of the guys from his Tuesday morning bible study group. These men are such an answer to prayer for both of us. Michael got his appetite wet when he started to become friends with some guys in Texas but then we moved to "hell-frozen-over", I mean, Illinois. He started meeting with this group of men and they have been studying the book by Mark Batterson called Chasing a Lion On A Snowy Day, hence the saying on the side of the SUV.

I am so thankful for God and His work in my man's life and I am so thankful for the men that God has brought into his life.

You chase those lions, boys!!!!

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A Glorious Day

2009-03-22T21:30:00.003-05:00

Last summer Isabella started asking about being baptized. We did not enter into this decision lightly because she is still so young but after alot of prayer and discussion we decided that it was time. I worried more about what it would do to her for us to tell her that she is not old enough to understand what she is doing than I did about her being so young.

It was a wonderful day for all of us and Isabella did amazing. I felt like I was going to throw up all morning, the way I feel when I am going to sing a solo. It also was really cool because the pastor that married me and Michael almost 10 years ago also got to baptize our first born. Such a special moment. And thanks to some wonderful friends we now have this video of the baptism to watch and share.

God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called!

2009-02-24T08:35:00.002-06:00

I found this story on another person's blog and thought that I would share it. I don't know about you but if you are anything like me you struggle with feeling inadequate for the callings that God has placed on my life. Motherhood, being a wife, mission work, singing, leading women into freedom by knowing how loved and adored they are by their Heavenly Father, they are all areas where I feel God has called me but on any given day I feel so unworthy, unprepared, and even sometimes unwilling to do what has called me to do. If this resonates with you at all, be encouraged by this story as I was. Thank your Savior today that He creates the masterpiece in our lives, all that we have to do is be willing to keep on playing.

(Story from www.marcomprofessional.com)

To encourage her young son's progress on the piano, a mother took the small boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her.

Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually explored his way through a door marked: "NO ADMITTANCE."

When the house lights dimmed, and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that her son was missing. Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing." Then leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child and he added a running obbligato.

Together, the old master and the young novice transformed a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was mesmerized.

That's the way it is with God. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't exactly graceful flowing music. But with the hand of the Master, our life's work truly can be beautiful.

Next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You can hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing. "Feel His loving arms around you. Know that His strong hands are playing the concerto of your life.

Remember, God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.

Bella's New Do

2009-02-17T14:43:00.001-06:00

Isabella slept in sponge rollers and had vert curly hair this morning. I was very cute!

Almost Recovered

2009-01-31T12:39:00.005-06:00

Micah is feeling much better. He came through his recovery great! I was so surprised to see how much different his recovery was from Bella's, but I attribute that mostly to the pain medication and his personality. He went back to school yesterday and the only residual problem he has is fatigue. He has been very tired and whiney, but that will get better too. I took a picture of him the day he started feeling better and the smile says it all.

And this is a picture of Bella the day she starting feeling better.

Tonsillectomy- Pictures the day of surgery

2009-01-27T21:53:00.003-06:00

Micah and Momma cuddling before surgery

Being silly

Post surgery-Micah checking out IV

Cuddling with momma again

Going home-Micah asked if he could take the wheel chair home with him

Tonsillectomy- Day 6

2009-01-27T20:49:00.002-06:00

Today was up and down. The night was really rough. I tried to give Micah his medicine at 11 when I went to bed but he would not take it. I knew he was hurting but I couldn't get him to wake up enough to rationalize with him. So I decided I would leave him alone and let him go to back to sleep. My thought was that he would wake up later and want to take it. Well, I was wrong. He woke me up at 3 am moaning in his sleep. I started trying to wake him and he became very upset and started crying. Trying to rationalize with a child who is in pain and half asleep is next to impossible. After about 20 minutes of trying to coax him to take his pain medicine, I finally decide I need Michael, so I wake him up. And 25 minutes later, he takes his medicine.

I don't know what I am going to do the rest of the week because Michael leaves town tomorrow until Friday. On top of Micah's recovery, Aria has also been giving me a VERY hard time with going to sleep at night. She gets out of bed, tears up her room playing, knocks on the walls...you name it, she's doing it. That wouldn't bother me too bad but with Micah being sick and needing me I don't know how she is going to do. I am just claim the verse that says, "My grace in sufficient for you." Sufficient is defined as "enough to meet the needs of a situation or proposed end." I am once again going to rest on that because that is all I have and God has never let me down before.

Micah has had cabin fever really bad. He is asking to go back to school. He misses his teacher, he misses his friends, and he told me today that he misses P.E.. But, the one thing I can say is that since he has been home we have been reading alot. He has been reading some easy reader books and he is doing really well. I am amazed at how he is picking it up. I will be glad when he goes back to school, but I am going to miss the one-on-one time with him. I just want my baby to feel better...soon.

Tonsillectomy- Day 5

2009-01-27T08:26:00.002-06:00

Ok, so today was a very rough day. The pain and not being able to do anything is taking it's toll on Micah, and consequently on me too. He did not sleep well last night and is extremely tired today but will not lay down long enough to take a nap. He has cried and whined all day long. I am trying to be very patient but this evening I am feeling at my wits end. He got upset with me because I wouldn't lay with him, mainly because the house is a wreck and his sisters are needing me too. For those of you who are reading this, please pray for all of us. Between his recovery, Aria fighting sleep at every opportunity, and Isabella feeling very left out in the process, we are all wearing very thin around here and we really need your prayers.

Tonsillectomy- Day 4

2009-01-25T13:23:00.003-06:00

Another really good day. I must say that I am beginning to believe that the reason he is doing so well is because of the prayers of our friends and family. That is the only thing that makes sense.

Last night I decided to let him sleep and only give him his medicine when he woke up. That wasn't really the best decision because when he did wake up he was in ALOT of pain and I had a hard time getting him to take his medicine because it burns so bad when it goes down. So, tonight I will probably wake him up so at least he isn't in pain. Unfortunately there is no real good answer when it comes to the nighttime. The one thing that does help though is putting a little bit of gatorade in the pain meds.

Today everyone went to church and Micah and I stayed home. We had a good time just cuddling and watching movies. He has a real bad cough today and I am not real sure what that is about but it hurts him to cough. He tries not to but it is one of those coughs you can't control and then it's real loose so it hurts.

We had a little bout with nausea this afternoon but I think it was because I gave him his antibiotic on an empty stomach. He was pretty puny all afternoon. He listened to his iPod most of the afternoon and he wanted to watch basketball with me. We watched the Auburn/Arkansas yesterday and today we watched the Laker/Spurs game. Since he's playing basketball and I am learning the rules of the game I am enjoying watching the games more and more with him. I am definitely a bigger sports fan than my husband is but he will sit and watch basketball with us. So, it was fun.

Tonsillectomy- Day 3

2009-01-24T12:36:00.002-06:00

Last night went alright, except that he got very irritated and said several times that he wished that I would quit waking him up and just leave him alone. I really don't blame him, when you are sick and tired you really don't want to be bothered with taking nasty medicine. He did it though like a trooper.

Today has been a pretty good day. We haven't had to give him any more anti-nausea medicine, so that is good. He has been really tired today and not as tolerant of his pain or being cooped up at home. We decided to get out today for a little while and just go to my sister-in-law's house and visit with them. He did pretty good. Eating today has been very difficult. We have tried soup but the saltiness of it hurt. We tried ice cream, popsicles, jell-o, pudding, but the cold hurt. He tried very tiny little pasta but he said that hurt too. My only comfort is that he is drinking. He is already so thin as it is, only 46 pounds at 6 years old, and he is losing weight through all of this. But, as long as he is drinking I feel alright. We did get him to eat a little bit of Cream of Wheat with brown sugar in it for dinner. He didn't eat much, but four bites was good enough for me.

He has been very clingy with me today and wants me to lay with him alot. I have been alright with that because Michael is home and he can take care of the girls. We are all going to be early tonight.

All in all, I have been extremely impressed with him through all of this. He is really a warrior!

Tonsillectomy- Day 2

2009-01-23T09:57:00.000-06:00

Ok, so last night we had a pretty good night. One thing I am doing different this time is I am waking him up every four hours to get him to take his pain medicine. With Isabella I would just let her sleep and when she woke up I would give it to her. The bad thing about that is she would wake up in REALLY bad pain and getting her to take the medicine was difficult. I woke Micah up both times last night, 10:30 and 2:30. He did pretty good. The hardest part was waking him up enough to get him to realize what I am doing. I mix the HORRIBLE tasting medicine with a little bit of gatorade, which seems to cut the strong alcohol smell and taste. The other thing I have to do it say, "On your mark, get set, GO!" I did this once and now I have to do it every time!!!! It's so cute. He is such a boy!

He woke of this morning pretty early so we watched tv and he started to get hungry. I made him a scrambled egg but he couldn't eat it. We tried jell-o but that didn't work either. I gave him a little ice cream and he ate a little of it and then said he was getting sick to his stomach. We went through this with Isabella so I was prepared. With Isabella we got a anti-nausea medicine in suppository form, well she was not about to let me give that to her and who could blame her. I don't know anyone over the age of 3 who would "allow" someone to give them a suppository. So, she chose not to take her pain medicine and only take Tylenol since the pain meds made her sick to her stomach. So, with Micah I got a liquid prescription just in case he got nauseous. How could I have known that it would be electric green in color, not a very appetizing color when you are nauseous, even if it doesn't taste bad. After arguing with him about the color I gave him an ultimatum, green liquid or suppository. Being that he is much more rational than his older sister, he opted for the liquid, took it like a champ, and felt better within 15 minutes. So, if you or your child EVER have your tonsils out, make sure you ask for liquid Phenergan to combat nausea.

After he took all of his meds, he was almost back to his old self again. He ate really good, including a Nutragrain bar. My sister-in-law and I even caught him breakdancing to High School Musical musical. He is unbelievable really because his sister and his 16 year old cousin, who had hers done last week, were both in bed for 4 days and back in bed on day 6. Either he is like his mother and has just a very high pain tolerance or he is going to hit a wall at some point. We are hoping for the first, preparing for the latter.

All in all, day two has not been so bad thanks to pain and anti-nausea medicine.

Tonsillectomy- Day 1

2009-01-22T09:01:00.000-06:00

Today is the big day. We got up at 6am and left to go to the hospital. We had to be there at 7am to register and start prepping him. On the way to the hospital he started crying and saying, "I want to go home. I don't feel good about this." This doesn't sit well with me because I have heard stories about people getting ready to do something and they have a "bad feeling". They decide not to get on the plane and the plane crashes, they have a bad feeling about going into work so they don't go and two planes hit the World Trade Center, etc. There are plenty of stories about stuff like that so when my son had his "bad feeling" I immediately started praying. "Lord, if Micah's bad feeling is something, then give me the feeling too, if it is just fear, then give us peace." I, obviously, never got the bad feeling. Micah still had the feeling when we got to the hospital and wouldn't let go of the seat to get out of the car. I said the prayer again, "Lord, give him peace," and his daddy picked him up out of the car and Micah began to calm. By the time we got to the Outpatient Surgery Center, Micah was smiling again. We registered him and they called us back to a room. Thank you God for the Holy Spirit who is our Comforter.

After a little while, they came back to get him to put on a surgery gown. They told me he could leave on his underwear and socks but he needed to take off everything else. Well, we took him to the hospital in his pajamas and when I went to take them off he grabbed ahold of his pants. I asked him what was wrong and he informed me that he had slept "commando" last night. Oh great!!! I prepared for everything, a toy to take into surgery with him, refrigerator and freezer stocked with post-surgery treats, notes of questions to ask Dr. Aland that I didn't realize I needed to ask until after Isabella's surgery, everything, but I did not prepare for THIS! The nurses where nice enough to allow him to leave his pajama pants on. My son's dignity spared!!!

About 30 minutes before the surgery they came in and gave him a liquid sedative to calm him before they took him. It helps them stay calm, then when they take them to surgery they put them out with gas. Once he is out they give him the IV. When we went through this with Isabella she was fine when the medicine first starting taking effect, she got a little goofy and the calm. But, after a little bit she started crying and freaking out. And when I say freaking out I mean she started crying and talking incoherently. She got very frustrated because she could talk. The only thing I could make out was, "Pray Mommy Pray!" It scared me and it was all I could do not to break down crying in front of her. So, with Micah I mentioned this to the anesthesiologist. He informed me that children can only handle the effects for about 15-20 before they begin to "freak out" so I requested that he wait until 20 minutes before they were ready for him to give him the "cocktail". They gladly agreed and it was a much better experience.

They wheeled Micah out and my darling husband had a hard time because Micah was reaching for his hand as they wheeled him away. You know, it is one of the many moments in a child's life when a parent watches a child go somewhere where the parent has no control and all you can do is pray that God will bring your child back to you safe and sound. It is a very scary and helpless feeling. Even though the surgery only lasts about 30 minutes, it is the longest 30 minutes of our lives. The clock just ticks away. It's terrible.

After about 45 minutes the doctor came and said that he was fine. The surgery went great and we will be able to see him in a few minutes when he wakes up from the anesthesia. A few minutes later we are reunited with our little guy and have to wait about 2 hours so they can monitor his vital signs and get him drinking.

We were home by lunchtime. The rest of the day he did great. He drank alot of gatorade, ate popsicles and jell-o, and played video games with his daddy. He is taking pain medication and antibiotics. Now the healing begins.

Tonsillectomy time again!

2009-01-21T08:53:00.000-06:00

So, Micah is going in tomorrow to have his tonsils and adenoids out. Isabella had hers out last May. Both of the children have suffered from snoring and sleep apnea because of their tonsils. I didn't blog about Isabella's experience because she had a very rough time and even though I thought about it I was too warn out to do it. With Micah I wanted to do this because being one of the most common surgeries in children it might help other people to know what to expect. I didn't have alot of this with Isabella but what I did have REALLY helped. So I will blog daily about what goes on during the next week or so.

Happy Birthday Princess

2009-01-18T14:59:00.003-06:00

On Tuesday our little girl turns 3. Unbelievable, it seems like only yesterday that I was bringing her home from the hospital. Now she is officially a little girl and no longer a toddler. We had her party yesterday and she had a blast. We had a Princess party, complete with makeovers, pictures on the royal throne, a craft where we made picture frames to hold our picture, and lots of dress-up stuff. I even dressed up in my sister's VERY large wedding gown and wore a tiara. The girls thought it was great! And believe it or not, I was ultra-organized and did not stress out at all. We just had alot of fun. Here are some pictures.

And of course no princess birthday party would be complete without the birthday girl getting caught picking her nose on her royal throne.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-03T10:50:00.000-06:00

My Little Rock Star

2008-11-06T13:24:00.003-06:00

Since I can not figure out how to get videos downloaded to my blog I posted this very funny video of my budding rock star on my MobileMe. Check it out and then if you want to comment you can. I set up the video camera because Aria would not allow me to stay in the room and do it. When she realizes it I am gone she turns it on. I got the Camp Rock costume for Isabella for Halloween. She was supposed to dress up for Halloween as a vocabulary word. When I asked Isabella what word she wanted to be she said "Fabulous", so I got this costume at the Disney Store (shameless plug). Aria wanted to put on the costume this morning (amazing that my almost 3 year old and my 7 1/2 year old can wear the same costume). I swear I am in SOOOOOO much trouble. With her affinity for the "glamorous", shoes, purses, and everything princess, and that booty of hers, we are in SOOOOO much trouble. T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!!! Check it out, laugh, and pray for me and her father as you do.

http://gallery.me.com/hopeforall56#100098/100_5982

Halloween Fun

2008-11-02T13:33:00.003-06:00

We went trick-or-treating with my niece and our next door neighbors. It was alot of fun and the kids got more candy than we will ever know what to do with. Micah was Spiderman, Colin was a Ninja Turtle, Isabella was a Spanish Princess, Grace was a Cowgirl, Aria was Aurora, and Gigi was Rapunzel.

Fun Things In Our Family

2008-10-23T09:12:00.004-05:00

MY TOOTHLESS TWINS

FUN AT THE FAIR
ISABELLA AND ABBY
MICAH CLIMBING THE ROCK WALL
HE MADE IT!!!

Wrong Diagnosis

2008-10-17T16:23:00.002-05:00

This afternoon I took Micah to the doctor to have him checked out. He was still not feeling well, nauseous (even though he had not thrown up since last night), cramping tummy pains, fever of about 100 degrees, flushed checks, and inability to eat even though he is hungry. I made the appointment this morning but really was hesitant because there is nothing the doc can do for a stomach flu. Micah kept insisting to go to the doctor even though I told him that wasn't sure the doctor was going to be able to do anything to make him feel better. So, I complied, mostly to make him feel better emotionally. Well, God must have been talking to my little boy because when we got to the doctor we learned that he does not have the stomach flu. I had all but apologized to the doctor for bringing him in for a stomach bug when she told me that it was good that I did because he has strep throat. She showed my his throat and sure enough it is red, with white pus pockets, and his tonsils are so swollen that they are almost touching. I felt so bad and so grateful. I am really glad that he didn't have to wait another day and then spend 4 hours in the ER because it is the weekend. I guess his prayer was answered for God to heal him (see previous post) even if it was through the use of a throat culture test. I guess Mom doesn't ALWAYS know best.

Just remember this story the next time you think your kiddo has what LOOKS like the stomach flu. It could very well be strep throat in disguise.

Faith of a Little Child

2008-10-17T10:48:00.002-05:00

We have been battling the stomach virus in our house, or maybe I should say my little man has been battling it and the rest of us are doing everything we can to avoid it. Unfortunately he has had it really bad. It started with a fever at 1am on Thursday morning and the rest of it started a couple of hours later. He had been a real trooper, rarely crying and touching me ever-so-gently as to assure me that he is alright and that I shouldn't worry. Such a tender little spirit.

So, last night, after 18 hours of throwing up I decide that I am officially worried and I call the doctor to see if there is anything I can do because he cannot keep anything down. I know how bad dehydration can be and how quickly it can turn bad. He also was so sick to his stomach he was refusing Tylenol or Motrin because it made him gag. When the doctor called me back he mentioned Phenargan, which is a drug that is used for several different things, including as an anti-nausea medication. In the early summer when Isabella had her tonsils and adnoids out, we were given some for her nausea, so I asked him I could use that and he agreed that it would be fine. The problem with the Phenargan is that it is a suppository. Because of that I never used the prescription because Isabella refused to allow herself to be "violated". So, I get off the phone and tell Michael that the doctor has told me to use it...if I can.

I walk into the room and sit on the bed. My poor little guy looks up at me and here is the conversation...

Micah- "What did the doctor say?"
Me- As I hold up the prescription bottle I say, "He said you can take this and hopefully it will make you feel better."
Micah- Obviously noticing my timidity says, "Will it taste yucky?"
Me- "No honey."
Micah- "Do I have to hold it on my tongue?"
Me- "No baby."
Micah- "Then what do I have to do?"
Me- I look at him with all the compassion in the world and say, "It goes in your hiney. It is a suppository."

He looks at me, processing the conversation, and then very slowly and gently pulls the covers over his head.

Me- "If I can promise that it won't hurt and that it will make you feel better, will you do it?"

He pulls the covers down and looks at me and with all sincerity he says, "God will heal me."

At that, I was done. Had it been a life of death situation I may have forced it but it wasn't. I had prayed over him early that day that God would heal him and that was good enough for him...at least in comparison to having something put somewhere that really is intended to be an exit only.

I just looked at him, commended his faith, prayed again, and surrendered. God will just have to heal him.

My Problem-God's Answer

2008-10-09T11:53:00.005-05:00

So many times we find ourselves in a position of really needing a Word from the Lord. You know the kind I mean. The kind of word that if we don't get it our spirit aches and groans. The kind of word that can only come from God Himself. We hear from friends and family that "everything will be ok", "it will all work out", "God is working", but that is no longer enough. It is usually when we are at our wits end, don't feel like we can take it anymore, and don't feel that God is answering. It usually comes on the heals of what seems like an extended silence in our lives. And usually at a point when you begin to question whether God even exists and if he does then does he even care. Well, that is where I have been.

Yesterday, I sat down to add up all the bills that will be paid on Friday and the numbers did not add up. We are not talking car payments or credit cards, we are just talking the basic necessities of life. It became aware to me that my plan is going to have to change. Rather that use all the money that I am making to go towards debt, we are going to have to use some of it for now to just live. This struck me hard because that is NOT my plan. I want to get out of debt NOW. No, make that YESTERDAY. I don't want to be in debt anymore. And it's not just so that I can have more money to spend, but it is also so that we can have a plan for our future (ie retirement, college, weddings, vacations). So, needless to say, I was upset. In my mind, this is not going well at all. And all I could think was, I must not be doing something right. Or I have done something terribly wrong that God isn't going to answer my prayers. Will Michael ever have a job again that will be "enough" for our family or did we ruin that chance because of our lack of good stewardship? I began questioning everything I am doing. Is it enough? What more can I do? We don't have a car payment, our kids are not in sports or lessons of any sort, they don't go to private school, we don't travel or buy anniversary gifts, we don't spend money on toys except for birthdays or holidays, and we don't eat out . I clip coupons, bargain shop, and don't spend money on new clothes for myself or the kids. We don't own the latest technology or nice furniture. (Please don't get me wrong, I want to do all of those things, except have a car payment, but right now, we can't. And I do look so forward to the day when we can have more of that in our family. So, yesterday when this revelation came the question in my mind was, "What more do you want from us? From me? How much more do you want us to give up? Should we turn off our TV all together? Get rid of our cell phones? Sell everything we own? Should I try to babysit MORE kids? Get a different night and weekend job? WHAT???" When I didn't hear anything then my question became "Are you there? Do you care? Is all of this for nothing? We are working our butts off and for what?"

I spoke to Michael about our situation and my frustration mounted with the "lack" of his concern. You know how it is? When you are upset you want others to go there with you. Misery loves company, as it is said. Well, Michael was the strong one and just said, "we knew it would be like this for a while." And that was it!!! Not the response I was hoping for, although I must admit that I don't really know what response I was wanting. Anyway, it didn't help.

So, last night we had to go to church because the kids had AWANA. I was NOT in the mood and if it had not been for the leadership meeting that we had after service was over I would not have gone. I was angry and stressed and hard. Definitely not in a mental state to be a blessing to my Lord and Savior. To top it all off, last night we started our Wednesday House of Prayer, where instead of having a Wednesday night service, we will spend that time each week singing and praying for different things. Each week will be different and last night was the kick-off. This was even worse because I was in NO MOOD to pray AT ALL. (I know, I am terrible!).

So, we sat in the back (which I never do). I had my arms crossed, a posture of total closure, and that is exactly how I felt. I couldn't find it in my heart to sing because when I sing I am praising God and at the time I was not "right" to do that. But, what I did do was meditate on the words of the songs. About 20 minutes into the service, I said a little prayer that went something like this, "Lord, tenderize me." That was it, that was all I said. Well, in less than 5 minutes God broke through. Pastor Les got up and started to talk. He proceeded to say that although this wasn't what he was planning on saying but he felt the Holy Spirit leading him to say something and then he said, "I know that there are people here that have been praying for something and God is not answering. And you are jaded and cynical and you are wondering if God is working or if he is even there because he is not answering your prayers the way you want him to. But, I want you to know that He is working even though you can't see it right now." And at that, my heart broke. It was exactly what I needed to hear and even though it wasn't God himself, it was through our pastor that the Lord spoke. From that moment on I wept. It didn't make everything better immediately but it gave me hope again.

Then last night right before I went to sleep, I decided to open my Bible and just read a Psalm. It didn't matter which one. I was just going to pick one and read. I just wanted to spend 5 minutes with my God. When I opened the Psalms this is the one that was right there. I didn't pick it, it picked me. I pray that if you are going through something right now that this will bless you the way it blessed me. These are the words of the Lord... (emphasis mine)
Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

AMEN! AND AMEN!

A Great Getaway

2008-10-03T14:50:00.005-05:00

Ok, I know most of you who read this will think that Michael and I are crazy and wonder how we have ever made it 9 years in our marriage, but this past weekend was the first time EVER that Michael and I went away for the weekend without the children. And I must say that it was a much needed vacation for us.

We left early Friday morning to fly to Seattle, Washington for a big family ceremony on the Suquamish Indian Reservation. It was the first time since we have been together that I have had the opportunity to go up there so I was looking forward to meeting all of the family members that I have heard all about but have never met. At some point, on the flight up there, we looked at each other and agreed that we both thought we would be just fine when the children leave home and we are empty nesters. We talked and laughed and flirted and had just the best time. It was one of those moments when we realized that we not only love each other, we like each other too.

Then once we got there I got to see some of the most beautiful scenery. Washington is really beautiful, at least the parts I saw. We got to ride the ferry from Downtown Seattle to Bainbridge Island, which was alot of fun. It reminded me of the scenes from Grey's Anatomy last season when there was a ferry crash and I guy was pinned between two cars. I know, that's terrible. The weather was wonderful. It was very atypical for Seattle since it was sunny the whole time we were there. And the temperature was a perfect mid- to upper- 60"s. Amazing!

We got to see where my brother-in-law lives in a cute little guest house right on the water. He has the most beautiful view...the Olympic Mountains on the right and lots of sailboats. It was definitely a place I would love to have lived when I was young and single.

On Saturday we spent the day at a Suquamish Indian naming ceremony. It would have been great had I not felt horrible that day. Between being exhausted from being up for 24 hours and waiting way too long to eat breakfast my body was screamin! But once I got an hour nap in the car and some really good salmon, I felt much better. So, that night we went to one of the casino's and listened to a band and danced, danced, danced!! It was a great time!

I am so glad that we went, that my mom, sister, and her husband survived watching my kiddos for the weekend, and that we have since recovered from our 10 hour red eye flight. I do so hope we are able to go back with all of our kids next time. Here are some pictures from our trip.

PICTURE OF THE MOUNTAINS FROM THE PLANE

MOUNT RAINIER FROM THE PLANE

SPACE NEEDLE

MICHAEL FEEDING THE SEAGULLS

VIEW OF THE OLYMPIC MOUNTAINS FROM JAMES' BACK YARD

A Little Help From My Friends

2008-09-11T14:30:00.002-05:00

Three posts in one day. I know, a little excessive. I guess since Michael is out of town I am trying to use up my words by writing. Anyway. Ok, so here's the dilemma. I want to figure out how to teach my children to listen. I know this involves long ongoing training and that it is not learned over-night. I also know that they will need periodic re-training. But, I feel that it is getting out of control and my frustration is mounting, which is never good. I want them to learn to listen to authority and do what is asked of them the first time they are asked. I do not feel that I am approaching this lesson the right way. This problem manifests itself in different ways with the kids. Isabella has gotten really bad about arguing. She will argue with us about anything that she doesn't agree with. We will ask her to do it and then if she doesn't want to do it or she doesn't think she should have to do it then she starts arguing in a manner that would make any lawyer proud. I try to say, "this is not up for discussion", but this just results in her getting louder. At this point I get angry and either spank or send her to timeout. But, I do not feel that even with the consequences anything is changing. Micah on the other hand, does not argue, he just doesn't do what I ask if he doesn't want to. I got a note from the teacher asking me to remind Micah that he needs to listen and do what is asked of him the FIRST time. I know boys have a harder time with this (my husband is not a good listener either) but I don't want to excuse it just because he is a boy. And Aria, well, she is pretty manageable now but I would still like for her to learn while she is young as opposed to me backtracking when she is older. So, it's your turn. What do you think? I would appreciate any advice you have to give. If something has worked for you with your children or worked with you when your parents were parenting you, I'd love to know it. Thanks friends!!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

2008-09-11T09:58:00.002-05:00

Today is not only a sad day but also a very important day to celebrate. Today is my anniversary. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 9 years. Nine years ago today I walked down the isle in a little country church and pledged my life to Michael Smith Jr. I had no idea what that meant but I do now. God knew exactly what he was doing when he brought Michael into my life. Here are just a few reasons why I love my man:

1. Very few men would have endured so patiently with a wife who suffered for several years with low self-esteem, intense fear of abandonment, jealousy, depression (including post-partem depression). I am happy to say that God healed me of those things and I haven't suffered them since 2002.
2. I have a wonderful husband who thinks that since I cooked dinner and he knows that I love a clean kitchen in the morning he cleans it for me.
3. He has helped me learn (along with my YA's) how to become more organized.
4. He is a great father to our children
5. He loves the Lord and is learning every day what it means to be a committed follower of Christ.
6. He tells me all the time that I am beautiful
7. He thinks I am his hero
8. He wants to be able to give me the world, even though I am happy with what we have.
9. He is a protector of the women in my life. He loves my mother and my sister as if they were his own. He pampers them just like he pampers me.
10. And most importantly, he just plain adores me!!

How could I not love this man!!! He is amazing!!! I love you Michael Hart Smith Jr.

LET US NEVER FORGET

2008-09-11T09:38:00.002-05:00

My oldest was 3 months, I was at church teaching the children while their mothers attended Bible Study. I was struggling through post-partum depression, exhaustion, and being a new mom. A girl came into the classroom and said that a plane had hit the World Trade Center in NY. We didn't know what that meant but assumed it was a horrible accident. Class continued...life continued. A little while later the woman came back and said that the other building had been hit. WHAT THE...? Ok, so probably not an accident, but what? At this point, life started to slow and anxiety began to creep in. Shortly after that, the moms came and got their kids. Nobody knew what was going on, so for the most part, life continued. I got Isabella and went home. I turned on the TV and watched as the remaining tragedies unfolded. Michael was out of town, but thank God he had driven. Anxiety turned to fear and then to panic. As the day unfolded I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with the idea that I had just brought a child into THIS!!! Oh my goodness! What have I done? I called Michael and told him to come home.

Even now 7 years later, I still get emotional. Let us never forget what happened that day. Let us never forget the lives that were lost, but more importantly let us never forget the lives that had to continue despite the fact that they were forever changed. Let us never forget how united we were as a country in those days/weeks/months that followed. We were no longer democrat or republican, black or white, gay or straight...WE WERE AMERICANS!!! And let us never forget the heros that served our country on that day and still serve our country today to protect our FREEDOM!! Let us never forget that freedom isn't free! I praise God that we are so blessed as a nation. I praise God that we found hope in the midst of chaos. I praise God that we are FREE!!! !

JACK OF ALL TRADES-WITH A PURPOSE

2008-09-09T13:05:00.003-05:00

Live like noone else...Gazelle-like intensity...
These are two phrases that you will hear if you listen to Dave Ramsey. Michael and I just completed Dave Ramsey's 13-week bible study called Financial Peace University. We are ferociously trying to complete Baby Steps #1 and #2, which are getting $1000 in an Emergency Fund. This covers the little emergencies of life that seem to stress us because we haven't budgeted for them in our regular budget, such as a blown tire, a new water pump on the car, a broken arm, a kidney stone, etc. After that is done then Baby Step #2 is pay off debt. That is where the living like noone else comes in. I often think that I am crazy but in this case crazy is going to be good. I am tired of living like everyone else, racking up debt and just paying the minimum balances that never get the balance down. God says in His word that "the borrower is a slave to the lender". I am tired of being a slave!!!! So, Michael and I are getting intense with our debt snowball. About a month ago I started keeping a little girl who is 3 1/2, but that is only 2 days a week. So, I started applying for jobs that I could work in the evening and on the weekends. Starbucks, Target, waitress jobs, and retail stores. Well, this weekend I applied at the Disney Store and got the job. I start on the 20th and will be working nights and weekends. Then last night I interviewed with a couple who has a 5 week old baby girl. They asked if I could keep her 2 days a week. So, I start tomorrow with that. Am I crazy? Definitely, maybe. But, it is with a purpose...to put every penny I make towards our debt and get out of this life of slavery. I am angry!!! Although not at the future but at the past. We got ourselves into the mess but I refuse to stay here any longer than I have to. 2008 is the Year of the Finances in the Smith household, we will be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I ask all of you who read this to keep us in your prayers, because there are days when this is very difficult. I hate that I will be giving up books and prayers with my kids at night and fun weekends with the family, but I hate even more knowing that as the banks get rich and build bigger, fancier buildings and my future house is getting smaller and smaller. D-O-N-E!!! I AM DONE!!!

My Prayer

2008-09-07T13:26:00.002-05:00

Today was youth Sunday at our church. I just love youth Sunday. I love to see our Christian leaders of tomorrow taking an active role in leading their elders. It's been a while since I have been in a service lead by the youth. But, Michael and I agreed that today's service was different. As we watched and listened to these young men and women, ranging in age from 6th to 12th grade, we were overwhelmed. As we watched the one playing the guitar, singing his heart out (with no microphone near him), and jumping up and down in praise, I could see Micah someday, and could only pray that someday he will have that much passion for is Lord and Savior. As I watched the kids singing in the choir and seeing a couple of girls just smiling and worshipping and having fun doing it, I could see my girls and all I could do was pray for them to become women of integrity, honor, passion, and conviction. I had a hard time watching them without welling up with tears. It is only a few years away. They are growing up so fast, too fast if you ask me. I want so much for my children to grow up and be passionate for Jesus. And I pray that that passion can come without too much suffering and rebellion. But, I know one thing...I want to see my children growing in their relationships with Jesus and having fun while they do it. So today, I pray for all of our children.

Lord Jesus, I want to thank you today for the children that you have entrusted in our care, for however long you have chosen to give them to us. I thank you for how you have used them to changed our lives. I pray that you will continue to work in our lives as their parents so that we can be good examples of transforming grace and passion for You. I pray for our children that you will grow them up to be men and women of integrity, honor, and conviction. May we be parents that help foster the gifts that you have placed in them, that we will resist the temptation to push them into fitting into our molds of what we want them to be, and allow them enough freedom to become what you created them to be. Protect them, Lord, from making poor choices, and when they do, because we know they will, give us the courage and wisdom to give them the appropriate consequences. Most of all, we praise you Jesus for loving our children more than we do. It seems impossible because we love them so much, but you created them, you knit them together in our wombs, you picked this time for them to be born, and you chose us to be their parents. Thank you for loving them and thank you for trusting us with them. I pray we will be the best stewards of their lives as we possibly can with your grace. In Jesus name. Amen.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-09-03T11:15:00.002-05:00

An Angel Amoung Us

2008-09-01T20:09:00.000-05:00

You don’t have to be poor to feel the financial pinch these days. With rising gas and food prices it is barely possible to make the same salary as two years ago and maintain the same way of life. Michael and I have been doing everything we can to lower our standard of living, not only because we’ve had to but also because we have been implementing Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace principle’s into our family. one of the first things we did when starting this new way of life was to get on a budget and start paying cash for everything. Michael and I have never been on a budget, at least not a workable one, but after tracking our expenses for three months we got a better idea of how our money is spent and finally got on a much needed workable budget.

One thing that shocked me when I tracked our expenses was the amount of money that we spend on food every month. 95% of our food budget is groceries. We rarely eat out, maybe once a week if that. We eat left-overs, I use coupons, and bargain shop, and yet the $$ amount surprised me. So, I started talking to people and realized that we were in “normal” range for a family our size and that with the rising food costs it would only get worse. So, I got even more serious. No eating out at all, comparison shopping, coupons, sales, you name I did it and even with all that work I still could only get the grocery budget down about $100 a month.

Then I decided to check out something that I heard about about three years ago when we were living in Texas. I heard about a nationwide ministry called Angel Food Ministries. It is non-profit ministry that provides high-quality food products for about half the cost. Churches around the country team up with the ministry as host sites where you can place your orders and pick them up. When I first heard about them I didn’t get involved, mainly because I didn’t feel that I qualified, even though on their website they say, “If you eat, you qualify.” So, when we moved here I found a church near us that is a host site and I decided to try it. I ordered enough food for dinners for a month for $110. I want to share with you what I got, because I believe that we are not alone and many of you reading this are trying to find ways to make your budget work without having to get a raise or another job. Here is what I got with this months menu:

1.5 lb. Ribeye Steaks (4 x 6 oz.) 
10 ct. Frozen Waffles
 5 lb. Chicken Leg Quarters 
16 oz. Bean Soup Mix 
28 oz. Chicken Breast Nuggets 
1 lb. Rice
 28 oz. Salisbury Steak Dinner Entrée
 9 oz. Instant Potatoes (14 servings) 
32 oz. Breaded Chicken Breast Filets 
15 oz. Sliced Peaches 
1 lb. Smoked Sausage 
32 oz. Borden Shelf Stable Milk 
16 oz. California Blend Frozen Vegetables
 1 Dozen Eggs 
16 oz. Frozen Carrots  
16 oz. Frozen Chopped Spinach 
1 Dessert Item

ALL THIS FOR THE LOW COST OF JUST…….. $30.00

I ordered three of these menu’s and then ordered a grill special for $20 that had:

1.5 lb. Baseball Cut Sirloin Filet (4 x 6 oz. – Thick Cut),
2 lbs. Juicy Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast,
2 lbs. St. Louis-Style Ribs,
1.5 lb. Hamburger Patties (4 x 6 oz.)

We have been eating the food and it is no different than food would buy at the store. And I expect that doing this will cut our grocery bill in half. I still have to buy milk, eggs, lunch meat, condiments, etc but this is saving bundles on the bulk of our grocery bill which is dinner. I encourage you to check them out. See if there is a church near you that is a host site. Go to the website (www.angelfoodministries.com) and read about them and how they are able to do what they do. God bless!!!

Changing my blog

2007-11-10T13:44:00.000-06:00

Well, in August for my birthday Michael surprised me and bought me an MacBook. I have thoroughly loved it and I know I have not even touched what this computer can do. For several months I have been "double" blogging. I have been keeping up with this blog and then cutting and pasting it to my iWeb blog. It has been a hastle to do this so I am forwarding all of you to my new blog. You can read EVERYTHING about the Smith family in one blog (adoption stuff and life stuff.) So, check us out from now on at

http://web.mac.com/hopeforall56/Site/Welcome.html

I do hope this move won't hinder people being able to keep in touch. God bless

I AM AN AUNT

2007-10-08T21:04:00.000-05:00

I am SOOOO excited. I became a “biological” aunt today. I say it that way because I have had the privilege of being an aunt to my sister-in-law’s children for 8 years, but this is my sister’s first child. I wasn’t able to be there (BOO!), but I did get to listen to the delivery on my cell phone (thanks Mom). Isabella, Micah, and Aria were sitting with me when we heard her first little cries. They named her Sophie Annabel (hopefully I am spelling that right). She weights 6lbs 12oz and has a head full of blond hair. I can’t wait to see her. I am flying down this weekend for a couple of days. The picture to the right is Amy the day before she went into labor. BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Smith family update

2007-10-07T13:19:00.000-05:00

The Smith family is doing well. We have been really busy with school and sports. Isabella and Micah are loving school and are learning alot. It's very fun for me, too, to watch them make friends and go on field trips and enjoy their teachers. Micah started gymnastics a few weeks ago and Bella starts this week. She finished up soccer and decided she had fun but doesn't want to play soccer anymore. It could be because she got hit in the face two different times with the ball. The second time it happened we were on our way to the game and she said, "I sure hope I don't get hit in the face again with the ball." I almost said, "Oh the chances of that happening again are slim", but I didn't. Boy am I glad that I didn't because that game she got smacked right in the nose and got a nose bleed. I felt so bad for her. I was so glad she attempted but she defiantely does not want to play again.

Micah loves gymnastics and it suits him well. He loves all the climbing and swinging and balancing and flipping. I don't know how long he will want to do it but right now he's loving it. He's also starting doing tricks on his Razor scooter (for those of you who don't remember he knocked out his front tooth about 7 months ago on the scooter). Now, he is jumping the scooter and popping wheeleys on it, and trying to jump off the curbs. We call him our little X-gamer.

Aria is getting so big. She will be 2 in January and she is already wearing 3T clothes. She is very tall and chunky, and adorable. She defiantely keeps me on my toes. She is into EVERYTHING and I cannot turn my back on her for a minute. Her favorite phrase right now is "Mommy, I spilled." Everything from cherrios to coffee creamer, she's into it. And if she quiet for more than a minute then she's probably in her room painting her body and face with Desitin or covering the bathroom floor with baby powder. I have had to start disciplining her because she thinks it's fun and Mommy does not, even though I do have some great pictures. She has also figured out how to open the glass front door and makes her way outside without us knowing. The good thing is the door is loud but we have started locking it too. Michael and I were saying just yesterday how we never could understand how a 2 year old could be found "wondering the streets" until now. She is very curious, to say the least.

Michael is still enjoying his job. It is very challenging, but he is home and that is good. We have realized (mainly the me in the "we") that we are tired of moving and greatly desire to be near our family and desperately want our children to grow up close to their cousins. So, our goal in the next few years is to finish what God has for us here and make our way back to Alabama. This is a HUGE heart change for me since I have never wanted to move back to the place where I grew up. Alabama has held so many difficult memories for me, from my parents divorce to the many bad choices I made in high school and college. But, God has shown me int he past month that He has chosen to forget about all of that and therefore I should too. Besides, if I run into people who knew me then and they can see me for who I am now, then they can see how the power of Christ can transform a life. So, in God's timing, hopefully we will find our way back to Birmingham. (Goodner family, McLeod family, Smith family, Vos family-PRAY Godspeed!!)

I am doing well too. I have been getting to know a few women through a Bible study I have been doing and the kids school. I also sing again next Sunday for the first time since moving here. It will be no Firewheel but oh well : ) Everything is good!!

I will post some more pictures soon.

City of Chicago and a Tribute to Friends

2007-09-20T13:28:00.000-05:00

So, last week, three of my closest girlfriends came to Chicago to have what we call, our "Ya-Ya weekends". They flew in from Dallas and L.A. on Thursday and left on Saturday. We had such a wonderful visit and on several occasions it was mentioned that two nights was just too short. We walked everywhere, which was awesome and exhausting, although it is definately the way to go since driving downtown is "crazy".

Thursday night we went to Gibson's Steakhouse, which was wonderful. If you ever eat there, do what we did, split everything. The portions are huge. I was really kind of bummed since I was still recovering from the stomach flu. My desire was to eat everything and go home sick (like some people), but my body was not willing to cooperate. Oh well...

Then Friday we went to Navy Pier. The weather was wonderful and there were very few people there. After "sightseeing" for a while we all got a drink and sat in the warm on some leather chairs/sofas. We talked and laughed and relaxed and enjoyed a hour of COMPLETE peace. No children asking us for something, no phones ringing, no laundry, no emails, no dishes, no agenda...just peace and quiet. It was (and we would all agree) the best part of the trip. After that, we shopped for a little while and then went on an Architectural Boat Tour through the city. It was so interesting and educating. I learned so much about the city and fell in love with the history of the architecture. After that we headed back to the hotel to get ready for our night out.

Friday night we went to Garrett's Popcorn and the girls got LOTS of popcorn and then we went to see THE BRAVE ONE with Jody Foster. It was a fantastic movie. C was so excited about it we could hardly keep her in her seat. It was sone of those movies that at the end EVERYONE was clapping and cheering. A must see!!!

After the movie we went to Gino's Pizza and has their famous deepdish, unfortunately I was not feeling well so I didn't eat but a few bites. As you can probably see we had a theme. C called it "the three G's". Gibson's, Garrett's, and Gino's.

On Saturday we walked the Magnificent Mile and shopped. At lunchtime we stopped and asked a hotel bellman if he could recommend a great burger. He directed us to a very quaint and nice burger "dive" called Boston Blackie's. It was one of those places that you couldn't just find, and it was excellent.

The girls left Saturday afternoon and I was sad to see them go. Since moving away from Dallas I have come to realize that these girls are three in a million. Friends like them only come around once in a lifetime and I am blessed beyond measure to have them in my life. I love you guys!!!!

Not to mention, I really came to love the City of Chicago. Seeing it as more of a local and less of a tourist gave me a whole new appreciation for it. The history, the achitecture, the sounds, all of it was amazing. Thank you ladies for such a wonderful time. I can't wait to see L.A. the next Ya trip.

Thank you Grandpa

2007-08-31T12:43:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago when Micah and I were in Birmingham my dad gave Micah and Isabella a bike. Micah was so excited that everytime we stopped at someone's house and every stop we made on the way home he would ask if we could take it out and ride it. He couldn't wait and it was killing him that he had to. Well, we got home and about a week later Isabella and Michael were outside and all of a sudden I see her ride past the front of the house with Michael running next to her. I ran outside to see what was going on and she was riding without Michael holding onto her at all. I was shocked. I got my video camera and took Micah outside to cheer her on. I was even more shocked when Michael said that it was Isabella's first try. After she rode for a minute Micah wanted to try. So Michael put him on (his feet don't touch the ground) and gave him a little push and he too was off. No training wheels, no assistance, nothing. I was floored, and scared to death. Since then they have been riding like crazy. The hard part is that they have to share, but they are getting so good. Isabella is even standing up now for brief periods of time. She's learned how to coast, and turn, and stop, AND jump off instead of fall. Micah is a little more timid right now because, like I said, his feet won't touch. But, when we get hime a bike that he can feel more secure on I know he will be off. We have ushered into a new era of our lives...they grow up way too fast.

1500 Miles and Still Smiling

2007-08-21T11:47:00.000-05:00

Last weekend Micah and I took a trip together. We left last Thursday with my mother to go to Birmingham for my sisters' baby shower. It is about a 10 hour trip but with Micah it took about 11 1/2 to get there. After about an hour on the road Micah decided that he didn't want to go to Birmingham with us and he let us know off and on throughout the whole trip. He was great about it for the most part though and he never did have a total breakdown. Once we got there he was fine. On Friday, my sister, Amy, and I took him swimming at the YMCA for a little while. Then in a stroke of "genius" I decided to go to Target and buy Micah a new skateboard(his other one is too small) and another Razor scooter(Isabella needed a new one anyway). I figured if I had those for the trip home it would make our time better since we could stop every couple of hours and he could "decompress" by riding on something.

That afternoon we went to my dad's house for dinner and then to watch my niece, Taylor, cheer in her first football game. It was so great to see everyone. At my dad's house, we got out the scooter and the skateboard. I think my Dad and Augusta were amazed at how well Micah could do both. Then my Dad gave them a try, at 60-something, we were all afraid and amazed. It was alot of fun.

Then at the football game Micah played in the dirt the whole time with his cousin, Gloria Grace-aka "GG" and I got to spend time with my sister-in-law, Michelle, while we watched Taylor cheer. My only regret is that I wouldn't get to spend more time with Taylor since she was going to her dad's after the game. But, you know how 14 year olds are-BUSY!!!

On Saturday was the shower for Amy. It was so great to see how much support she was getting. It's hard as her sister not to be there for her for the birth of her first child. I am so thankful that God has surrounded her with so much family and so many friends. And BOY, I mean GIRL, did she rack up.

So on Sunday I drove home with Micah by myself, since Mom was flying out of Birmingham to teach her next class. I was so right. The scooter and skateboard were a life saver and we made it back without one single meltdown. Praise God!!!!!

2007-08-14T18:22:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a few days so I thought I would just put in a few pictures of the kiddos and a couple of pictures of Micah's new "passion". He has taken to skateboarding. He loves his Razor scooter but has decided at 4 1/2 he's ready for skateboarding instead. Michael has taught him how to "drop" of the step and do a handstand. I want to fall out every time he does it but Michael just rolls his eyes at me and tells me that he will be fine. Ok...whatever! He is going to be our extreme sport athlete. Thank God for good health insurance.

Conversations With My Children

2007-08-05T19:53:00.000-05:00

Conversation with Micah just the other day:

Micah: "Mommy, I want to be a policeman like Uncle Robert when I grow up."

Me: "Oh really? Why?"

Micah: "So I can carry a gun and shoot the bad guys, like this!" Then he proceeds to dive onto the floor, roll over, and point his fingers like he's pointing a gun.

I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. His actions so adorable and yet I wonder where in the world he learned what policeman do. He's a superhero fan, that's all I can say.

Conversation with Isabella today in the movie store:

Isabella is walking down the family video isle trying to decide which movie to pick out. She sees My Little Pony, Care Bears, Bratz, and then comes up on Thumbelina and says,
"Oh I want this one. It is one of my favorites and even though it makes me cry I just can't resist." I thought I would fall out. A woman after my own heart. What woman doesn't love a good cry while watching a movie.

Conversation with Aria:

Ok so I can't have conversations with Aria yet, but her little personality is emerging every day. Her absolute favorite thing is babies. When she sees them, she instantly goes crazy. We were at soccer practice last week and there was a woman there with a 3 month old little boy in a car seat. Aria was next to him before I could turn around. She was in his face talking to him while he smiled back. When he blew bubbles and drooled, she would lift up his bib and pat the drool off his mouth, she even tried to pick him up several times. The mom was so sweet and patient, she just keep saying over and over, "she's ok. It's so cute. She's so nuturing and gentle." And when I felt the little boy had had enough and I picked Aria up to take her away, she cried with the cry of a broken heart. It was so endearing. She carries her baby doll everywhere and at any given time she will sit down with a towel or diaper wipe, say "EWE!", and proceed to "wipe" the baby doll's hiney. I love it.

What amazes me most is that I didn't have to "teach" any of my children how to do these things. Their creator imprinted them on their little hearts. I love that my little girls are "lilies" and that my little boy is a "warrior", as they are called in our home. And whatever they choose to be when they grow up I will support, but more than anything I want them to follow God's will for their lives.

So far it seems they are doing just that!!

Taking Time To Smell The Roses

2007-08-04T14:33:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel that you are so busy that you wake up one morning and realize that you have neglected to talk to your best friend in a few days? That is what happened to me this morning. I have been so busy with moving, my children, my friends children, and daily life that I realized that I have spoken very little to my best friend, Jesus. I think that is why, so often, we find ourselves with "trials" in our lives, it forces us to spend time with God. His Word says that He is a "jealous God." He wants us to spend time with Him. All I have to do is imagine how I would feel if Michael woke up every morning for a week and "forgot" to say good-bye to me before work, or when he got home he didn't talk to me about his day or ask me about mine, or at bedtime he didn't kiss me and tell me that he loves me before falling asleep. I would be so hurt and angry. And yet for the past week or so that is what I have done to my Lord. I know that I serve a forgiving and understanding God, but I never want to take that for granted. He is also an amazing God who even in all my "busy-ness" still wants for me to take a few minutes and "hang out" with Him. How often do we do this? I know for me it is too often.

Did the life I live today please you God? Have I loved well? That is my prayer for today?

Wordless Wednesday

2007-07-25T14:08:00.000-05:00

We Did It!!! AGAIN!

2007-07-24T22:25:00.000-05:00

We are finally moved in to our new place and we do love it. It is definately a place we can stay for a while. It wasn't too bad with the exception that all the children got some weird virus while we were moving that made them run real high fevers along with nausea and bad headaches. So, it was really hard to pass them off to my mom who had to watch them to keep them out of the way. All they really wanted was Mommy. But we did make it through.

Isabella started soccer last week. She is having fun and is so cute. She insisted on having a pink cheerleader skirt with a matching pink shirt that has a rhinstone butterfly on it to play in. She also has a black cheerleader skirt with a matching black shirt. They both coordinate with her pink shinguards. It's very cute. I have pictures but they are still on my mom's computer.

Micah and Aria love soccer too. Micah has several buddies that he plays with on a side field since he's not old enough yet to be on a team. He doesn't care though, he just made up his own team. And he tries to play just like Beckham. It's adorable. Aria takes her little soccer ball and kicks it around too.

Micah and his "team". Not a great picture of Bella but you get the idea.

Blueberry Picking at Treeberry Farm

2007-07-16T14:32:00.000-05:00

Well, one of the benefits of living in "the middle of nowhere", as Micah calls it, is that there seems to be endless opportunities to visit farmland where we can harvest our own produce. Within 30 minutes of us we have apple orchards and strawberry, rasberry, blackberry, and blueberry farms. We have pumpkin farms and Christmas tree farms within 10 minutes of us, and miles and miles of corn. The kids love it!

On Saturday we went to Treeberry farm and picked 16 pounds of blueberries. Unfortunately it was the busiest day they have ever had. We so started off waiting in line (picture to the right) for 45 minutes just to get on a flatbed trailer that took us to the bushes. Then we picked for about 45 mintues. The kids had a blast, especially Aria who sat on the ground and ate blueberries out of the bucket. I wish I could have gotten a picture because her whole face was blue, but I forgot to charge the battery on my camera. Then we waited again for the flatbed trailer again for about 30 mintues. We got back to the farmhouse and waited in line again to pay for the blueberries. We were also able to get fresh honey, which I love in my tea. They also have Christmas trees, which are beautiful already. So we will probably go back and cut down our own tree after we get back from Thanksgiving in Florida. It was fun, even though I did feel like I was at Six Flags. I guess it's not so bad living in a small town.

Our NEW home!!!!

2007-07-14T14:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, so it's been a few days and quite a bit has happened so bare with me if this is lengthy.

As many of you know, I sent Michael up here in November of last year to find us a house to live in since I didn't want to travel with all the children. He found us the best house that was for rent at the time for what we wanted to pay. It has been a solid roof over our heads and roomy enough for me to take in a couple of extra kids a week, but not in the best location and it is dated. So, for the past several months I have kept a close eye on houses in the area in the locations that we really like. Well, through a very cool set of circumstances that could only be God we found a house that we really love and it's in a great location. Michael can walk one block and be at work and yet the neighborhood is quiet and very well kept. And not only can we rent for the next couple of years until all our debt is paid off, but we can also buy it from him when were ready (if we wind up staying here...only God knows that) and he will give us some of our rent back as a "gift of equity", which is awesome. The main floor of the house has been totally renuvated and updated and the basement is finished. He is going to split the cost with us for any updating we want to do in the basement, and if we decide to put a fence up and lay a slab in the back yard he'll help with that too. We are so pleased and excited. We move in at the end of the month. I will email all of you with our new address and hopefully our phone number will stay the same. Here are some pictures.

The front of the houseAnother view of the houseThe living room from the front doorThe kitchen

Painting Is Fun!!!

2007-07-06T12:53:00.000-05:00

Today in an attempt to keep everyone happy, and because Isabella has been asking for days if she can paint, I decided to venture on the wild side. At first, my stress level was high because everyone wanted their own colors and who would have which paint brush erupted into an arguement, I almost hung it up. But, I was so glad that I didn't because they had a blast. Even Aria was in on it and after it was all over she had painted her face, her hands, her feet, her legs, and her dress. Thank God for bathtubs and washable paint. Sometimes I need to just let my hair down...today was one of those days.

We sure can learn alot from our children if we let them teach us every now and then. They teach me everyday how to just "be." And somedays I really need that.

Have a great weekend and don't forget to throw caution to the wind like a child at least once in a while.

We're still here

2007-07-05T21:50:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged in few days so I thought I should at least write something to let everyone know that I haven't forgotten.

Nothing big is going on in our lives right now. We are in the prayer/decision phase about something right now and that is consuming all of my time. I promise I will share more later, but for now please just pray for us. It is nothing bad and we are not moving again, but the decision we are trying to make would make a big difference in our family. Please just pray for us to have wisdom and peace with the decision. And like I said, I PROMISE, I will share with all of you what this is all about once the decision is made.

In the meantime, do you feel teased? Sorry. Just needed something to write and this was about it. Maybe I should have just done a Wordless THURSDAY instead. BIG SMILE!!!!

I Needed That!!!!

2007-06-25T12:44:00.000-05:00

Well, after a really hard week it ended much better than it began. I think my depression hit an all time high last week since moving here. It was compounded by the fact that Micah finally "got it" that we weren't in Texas anymore and proceeded to talk incessantly about how much he missed Texas and his "best buddy's", Carson and Calliegh. Michael and I had several conversations over the past few weeks about the church we had been going to and neither of us were completely settled on it. This was the worst of it because we just want to find a place where we can serve and be served. On Friday night at dinner we decided that we would take the kids to the Bourbonnais Friendship Festival, which includes a Fair and a parade(see pictures below). Then, on Sunday, try the only church in this area that we hadn't tried. The kids were so excited about the Fair and Parade. Well, the kids loved the fair and the parade and we loved that they loved it. The parade was great because we literally walked out our front door with our chairs and they came right by our house. Then Sunday we visited College Church at their satellite campus and really loved that too. Michael, my mom, and I all felt great about it. It is a bigger church so it has a lot of opportunities for everyone, including my mom because they have a singles ministry. And an added bonus is that it is only 10 minutes from our house (as opposed to the 30 we were driving to the other church). We feel great about this. Things are looking up. I still don't know what this means for my singing but like my beautiful friend said, it's not about me and I should just sing unto the Lord, even if no one is listening. Celeste-you'll be happy to know I turned my IPod up several times over the past few days and just worshipped my heart out. Thank you for your "tough love."

Enjoy the pictures of the fair and the parade.

No more singing for Jen...at least not for a while :(

2007-06-21T20:40:00.000-05:00

I know I am blogging a lot lately but I told you I would.

Last weekend at church I finally decided to talk to someone about singing on Sunday mornings. Because the church doesn't have a worship pastor I wasn't sure who to talk to so I approached the pastor's daughter who is the admin over that department. After introducing myself I told her I was interested in getting involved in the worship ministry. She asked me if I had a tape or CD that they could listen to since they have no way of auditioning people and no choir to pull people from. Of course I don't, so she told me to fill out a volunteer card and she would contact me as soon as she knew something.

Well, today I got a phone call from a lady from the church. She informed me that there are no available spots for worship team at this time and she was unable to tell me how long it would be before there would be. She recommended some other ministries to volunteer for and that was that. Unfortunately, my first reaction after hanging up was, "I don't WANT to do anything else, I want to sing." I was sad because when it comes to ministry singing and leading worship are my "first loves." But then I sat down and started to pray about what I should do. Should we go to a different church where I can sing? Should I give up on singing altogether? Should I find the head worship leader and talk to him directly? And I felt a question rise up in me. You said that you would do what you could do and let God do the rest, did you really mean that? Well, here's where the rubber meets the rode. Walk in faith and trust God to make this happen in His timing, under His circumstances, or get bitter. I've decided to trust in God and allow Him to direct my path from here on out. This is so hard for me because when you love something as much as I love leading worship you don't want to wait. What I really want is to pick up where I left off before we left Texas, and that is just impossible.

So, for now I am going to find another place to serve in the church where I know God has us. But sadly, there will be no more singing for Jen...at least not for a while. (God I miss Firewheel!!!) : )

I Know I'm Crazy

2007-06-20T15:12:00.000-05:00

Well, as some of you know, I am keeping a couple of kids a few days a week for a friend while she works. The little boy is two weeks older than Isabella and the little girl is a couple of months younger than Micah. So, it's like having two sets of twins and Aria, who is 17 months. Well, I thought a would share what happened today in the life of my enlarged family. The kids got here around 9am and immediately started playing and fighting. I thought keeping the peace with two kids was hard, well, five is nearly impossible. Someone is always either hurt physically or emotionally, or they are fighting over whose idea is better. Anyway, I put Aria down for her morning nap and sent the kids downstairs to play. After Aria woke up I piled all the kids in the van to venture out and run to the store (we were out of diapers and wipes otherwise I wouldn't have done this). On the way there the kids fought over who would sit where in the car, on the way back the kids fought over who was touching who or who was looking at who. Those of you with siblings or multiple children know the drill. Anyway, we get home and I send the two oldest to timeout for fighting. I had the great idea that I would fill up the pool and let the kids swim for a little while. So, we all go outside. I get my swimsuit on, I get my sunglasses, my drink, my book, towels for everyone, and I head to my chair to relax while the kids play in the pool. I haven't sat down for 5 minutes and everyone is hungry and wants a snack. So, I get out of my comfy chair and get ice cream sandwiches for everyone. When they are done, everyone gets back in pool and I sit down in my chair to resume my reading and relaxing. What was I thinking? All of sudden the little girl that I keep starts screaming and saying she got scratched. Well, it wasn't a scratch, she was stung by a bee. So, I calmly get everyone out of the pool and take her inside. I am tending to her when all the dripping wet children come in the kitchen to see what's happening. As soon as she is doctored up and everyone is wrapped in towels I take her to the living room to changed her clothes and I hear Aria hit the ground and start screaming. I go running in there and she is lying face down on the ground. I had wrapped a towel around her, arms and all. When she was leaving the kitchen she slipped on a wet spot and did not have her hands to catch her fall smacking her face on the floor. It took about 45 minutes for everyone to recover. Needless to say, after that I put Aria down for another nap and let the kids play a game. Now all is well. So, am I crazy? I KNOW am I!!!! Enjoy laughing at my crazy life!!!!! I DO!

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!?!

2007-06-18T21:31:00.000-05:00

I think when we moved to Illinois we brought Texas weather with us. It is hot and dry here, and mild and wet in Texas. The one thing that I looked forward to when I found out we were moving back here was the break from the HOT summers. Now it seems that we may have to endure it here this summer too. After talking to my friend Celeste who lives in southern California, moving there sounds great. Flip flops year round would be wonderful!!!!!! Oh well, such is life, huh? God does have a healthy sense of humor. Maybe I should have one too.

Some pics for you

2007-06-12T10:34:00.000-05:00

Micah right after he lost his tooth riding his razor scooter.

Bella on her last day of Kindergarden.

Back in the saddle again

2007-06-09T11:41:00.000-05:00

Well, after a few months of neglect my beautiful and very funny sister-in-law has motivated me to get back to blogging. I figure since most of the people I know do not live anywhere near me, I should probably stay on top of it so you all call see what's been going on here in the lives of the Smith family. So, here is another attempt. Check back often...I will be better at keeping up with it. I promise.

So, we are FINALLY, starting to feel settled here in Bourbonnais Illinois. It has only taken six months. Since I last wrote here's what's happened...

Aria has started talking up a storm, she has discovered swimming and loves it, and she tries to ride on Micah's skateboard whenever she gets the chance. She is growing up at a breakneck speed and weekly I get "baby fever". I can't imagine what it will be like NOT to have a baby in the house. My friends who have children who are older all say that I will love it, but there is an element of grief for me. Of course then I think about how much easier life is getting. She's down to one nap a day, eating regular table food, she sleeps through the night (most of the time), she plays on her own and with Isabella and Micah so I have time to clean up my house, and we feel for the first time in a year that we can take a 10 hour car trip with all three kids and be alright. So, am I crazy for wanting more? Probably so.

Micah...oh what can say about Micah. Well, since I last wrote he's knocked out his front tooth riding his Razor Scooter. He fell and the handle bar hit him in the mouth and knocked it out. Then a week later we were on some biking trails and he was riding his scooter and he got to going too fast down a hill and wiped out. Fortunately nothing was broken but he did have a nasty cut and bruise on his elbow. The great thing about it was that after he calmed down he said to me, "Mom that was so cool. You should have had your video camera." He's ALL boy.

Isabella is my beautiful drama queen. In the fall she will be auditioning for the first time for a part in Tom Sawyer at the Kankakee Valley Children's Theater and then next spring she wants to audition for Mulan. This excited me because this is something that I really want to do too but never had the courage. She is motivating me to audition this winter for Footloose, which was one of my favorite movies as a teenager.

Michael is doing really well and just loving his job. And while we miss Texas moving up here has been great for our family. Last night, Michael had to work late so he wasn't home for dinner and Aria stood at the front window calling "DAAADDDYYY!" It was so cute. Then Isabella said, "Daddy's not home yet. He missed dinner. What will he eat?" It's just great that because he's here so much now that they "expect" him, and when he's not here, they miss him. I just love it.

Well, that's all for now. Check back in a few days.

2007-02-24T22:21:00.001-06:00

Well, as another sleet-snow settles in over the northern Illinois area I am realizing even more how much I miss Texas. I talked to one of my girlfriends from Texas this past week and she was just giddy about the weather there- between upper 60's and upper 70's. Sounds so good about right now. It's been so hard on the kids because they were unable to get outside alot last summer because of the heat in Texas and then we move here and they are stranded inside now. I am SO looking forward to spring and summer. We went to Target today and looked at sprinklers and dreamt about how great it will be when we can get one and play in it. Aria did get out in the snow several times though and absolutely loved it. She would pitch a fit every time we had to go inside and whenever we go out to go somewhere she is trying to dive out of my arms to get down in the snow.

Aria is getting to be such a cutey pie. She started giving "closed-mouth" kisses this week instead of the big open mouth slobbery ones she been giving. And she kisses everything, all of her toys, her reflection, her brother and sister, she loves to kiss. She comes by it honestly. She laughs all the time at everything, especially Micah and Isabella. She thinks they are hilarious. And one of her very favorite thing to do that makes me crazy is playing on the stairs. She can spend hours just going up and down........... and up and down....... and up and down. She really is so much fun, and while I would love to have more just like her Michael says that we are DONE!!!! Oh well...

I am so excited that in less than two weeks I am going back to Texas to see my mom and have some time with my girlfriends. I can't wait! I will be totally childless, so sleeping in late for a couple of days will actually be possible. The only problem is it sounds like I am going to have to track down my warm weather clothes and I have no idea where they are, not to mention I have pale winter skin. But, it will be so much fun!!! I will share pictures and stories after I get back.

Getting settled

2007-01-23T10:08:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone!!! We are finally moved in and unpacked. It's been a hard transition but it's getting much better. We just celebrated Aria's 1st birthday and she is getting so big. We are having so much fun with her. Watching her with Isabella and Micah is great, she thinks they are so funny. No one can make her laugh like they can. Isabella likes her new school, but says on a regular basis that she wants her old friends back. She really misses them alot. All I can say is "I know baby. I miss my friends, too." We have shed many a tear together since moving here. It has bonded us closer.
We have visited several churches and all fall so short from what we are used to. I equate it to living in the house of your dreams and that house burns down and you are forced to find another home. You can look at other homes and they may similar things that your old house had but it doesn't have a bay window like the old one or the bedrooms are too close to the kitchen unlike the old one. So you don't like it because all you really want is the home that you loved that burned to the ground. That is how it was this past Sunday. We visited a church about 30 minutes north of us and it had many similarities of our previous church. The pastor was good, but not Jeff. The music was good, but not JD. The people were nice but not family (although I know that I can't expect that to happen immediately---that will take time!). Positive things are that I did get alot out of the sermon and God has used it for the past couple of days to really minister to me, which is something we haven't gotten at any other church that we have visited. And the fun thing is that the people in the church are very energetic and vocal during the music and the sermon. The music was lead by black and white people and it was very soulful, but definately different than what I am used to. I have just decided that I am going to focus on God from here on out and let him lead us in where to go to church. This may wind up being our church home but that will be up to God and what he wants for us.
Please continue to pray for us as we continue to make this transition. The prayers that you have prayed so far have definatley been felt. I will download pictures soon.

Christmas at BeBe's

2006-12-30T07:57:00.000-06:00

Well, Christmas has come and gone and it was a wonderful holiday. Isabella and Micah had so much fun with Santa this year. Now that the holidays are over we will be leaving for Illinois. Michael found us a great house and he's been feverishly working to get it ready for us when we get up there. While there is sadness about leaving there is also anticipation for what the new year and this new chapter in our lives has to bring. Michael is very excited about his new job and the future that he has with his new company and I am very excited that he is going to get to be a "hockey dad". Micah has decided he wants to learn how to play ice hockey and he wants to learn to snowboard. Isabella wants to start ice skating and learn how to play the piano. Aria will be 1 year old in January and has started walking and talking. And my goal for the next year is to learn how to play the violin (big asperation I know, especially at my age). It will be an exciting year.

You can take us out of the south...

2006-10-17T10:37:00.000-05:00

Well, Michael may be able to take us out of the south, but he won't take the south out of us.

I found Micah his first pair of cowboy boots at a consignment shop last week. He has worn them everyday, and even has slept in them a couple of nights. When we got home from buying them that day he immediately went to get his cowboy hat. He walked in with his hat and his boots on and said, "Hey mom, I have my hat and my boots, now all I need is a horse." I agreed with him completely since it's always been a dream of mine to have a horse. I love living in the south and even though we will be "mid-westerners" soon, I will always be a "southern belle".

For my Aunt Judy

2006-10-12T13:43:00.000-05:00

At the request of my Aunt Judy, I am putting some recent pictures of the kiddos. Aria is 8 1/2 months and a carbon copy of Isabella (at least in appearance). She is so joyful, she smiles all the time.

Micah is 3 (turning 4 in November). His favorite thing to do is hang out with his dad. He loves doing "guy stuff" with him.

Isabella is 5 and her absolute favorite thing in the whole world is ART, just like her Aunt Amy. She's really good too.

These three beautiful babies are my and Michael's greatest joy AND greatest headache. Just kidding!!!

TRYING THIS BLOGGING THING

2006-10-11T22:40:00.000-05:00

So, at the suggestion of a friend I have decided to start a blog for our family. With as much moving around as we seem to be doing, this seems the best and most logical way to keep people we love informed with what is going on in our family.