Learning New Things

I can hardly believe that we have been homeschooling for 8 weeks as of tomorrow.  We are just completing our study of North America and are heading to South America on Monday.  We have studied an overview of the world and learned about the colonization of the United States, Mexico, and Canada.  The kids have learned to locate all of the countries in North America on a map by playing geography games.  We have studied the Aztecs, the Mayas, the Inuits, and our founding fathers.  We have learned about biomes, ecosystems, food chains, food webs, deserts, and forests.  And so much more,  that's just all I can remember right now.

We have learned about all the different major world religions and how they differ from Christianity.  They have also learned about and prayed for different people groups and missionaries from all over North America.  We have read stories about George Muller, Cameron Townsend, William and Catherine Booth, Harriet Tubman, and Dwight L Moody.  They have learned about character traits that these people had such as creativity, boldness, discipline, repentance, boldness, compassion, joy, and perseverance.  It has been such a joy to spend every morning in the Word with my children.

And on top of that, Aria is reading!   This is so crazy to me because I was so stressed about being able to teach her to read that I considered sending her back to school through the first grade because I really didn't think I could do it.  She is also doing simple math, and can locate Greenland, Canada, the United States, and Mexico on a map.

Micah's spelling has improved a ton and he is reading a lot more.  We have discovered his love for comic books so we are at the library every 3-5 days getting new books for him to read.  He is also doing multiplication and loving it.  He is still struggling to focus but because I can put him in a quiet room when he is working he can focus so much better.  He is learning that some people can do their work in a noisier environment and some people can't.  He is someone who can't and the fact that he is learning that now is wonderful.  It is a study skill he will take throughout his life (hopefully).

Bella is doing fantastic.  She has been moved up to the 6th grade level in all of her subjects.  She wasn't being challenged enough so we bumped everything up.  And while it has brought about a few more tears because she is now being challenged more she is loving every minute of it.  She is my high achiever so this makes perfect sense.

The most amazing thing about it all is that they are learning all of this with me as the teacher.  Most days I feel completely inept to teach them.  You see, I did horrible in school, at least until college.  I barely graduated from high school and still to this day do not have a college education.  My children have taught me to love to learn.  Every night before I go to bed, I study and prepare for what we will do the next day, and then the children and I learn all kinds of new things together the next day.

All of this is by the grace of God.  I have never relied on God so much in all of my walk with Him.  I get frustrated with the children and myself, I have pity-parties every now and then, and some days I even feel like quiting.  But, then God reminds me of why we are here, how well the children are doing, how much I enjoy being with them, and that just like them, I am learning.  I am learning how to be a teacher.  I am not expected to just "know" how to do this.  I am not expected to be perfect.  I need to extend grace to the children and to myself while we all learn new things.

What Homeschooling Is Teaching Me

I am constantly amazed at my ability to teach my children things like math, languange arts, science, and geography.  But, what amazes me even more is what God is teaching me.

You see, I am a big picture girl.  I see the world through a very large lense, or some people would say "from 10,000 feet".  And for many things that is wonderful.  It has helped me so much in my walk with God.  My faith has always come quite simply to me because I don't get bogged down in the tiny details.  I don't spend an enormous amount of time worrying about how something is going to work out.  For instance, when Michael lost his job a couple of years ago, it wasn't hard for me to "rest" in the idea that God would provide because I didn't spend a lot of time worrying about the "how"...the details.  Don't get me wrong, it isn't like this for everything, but it is like this for most things.

I consider this a blessing, but it does have it's disadvantages too.  Because I don't see the details in most things, I have a very hard time accomplishing things that require alot of attention to how to get it accomplished.  I have told Michael many times that I hate that I have so many great ideas but don't possess the skills to turn those ideas into realities.  There are many things that I will not do because the how requires too many steps to get to the end result and I get so frustrated with the the details that I quit.  For example, sewing, scrapbooking, planting a graden, playing the piano...I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

 So, imagine my surprise in the past few weeks when God began to show me that teaching my Kindergartener to read was going to require me to follow a step-by-step, detailed road.  That I couldn't just show her words for her to memorize and expect her to be able to read.  I just see the big picture...the ability to read; not the process that it is going to take to get her there.  To be very honest, it has been a struggle for me.  Not because I don't want to work hard to get the end result, but mostly because I have never been patient enough to allow myself time to get there.

So, what am I learning?  To be patient in the process.  To find the right people and programs who can teach me the right way to teach her.  And then to be patient.  To be patient with the process, to be patient with my daughter, to be patient with myself, and to be patient with God.  Thank you, God, for being patient with me!  Boy, I thought I was a patient person...apparently not.

Storing Up Treasures in Heaven

     For a long time I struggled with my significance as a stay-at-home mom.  When I left the corporate world almost 11 years ago to stay home with my first born I had no doubt that it was what I wanted to do.  Being a wife and a mother was what I had wanted from a very young age. But, in a culture that places so much emphasis on career and money, my decision to stay home wasn't always well received during the transition from that world to this one.  People didn't understand why I would want to give up my life or the money (not that either were that glamorous in the first place).  And after coming home I felt very insignificant most days because I didn't feel I was leaving my "mark" on the world.  But Michael and I knew that it was what God wanted for our family and whatever sacrifices we had to make for me to stay home were worth it.
     Fast forward to today.  Almost 11 years and 4 children later, I have had many instances that make me so glad that I have chosen this life.  The other day the kids were talking about jobs and money, and they said to me, "Momma, you don't work."
     I replied to them, "Oh yes I do.  I work very hard, everyday, taking care of your daddy and all of you and this house."
     "But, you don't make any money, "  Bella said.  At which point the other children responded in agreement.
     So my response was, "You're right, I don't make any money.  But, I have decided to store up my treasures in Heaven.  The bible says that we should not store up our treasures here on earth where moths and rust can destroy or where thieves can break in and steal, but to store up our treasures in heaven.  So that is what Mommy is doing."
     After that there wasn't another response until yesterday morning.  I had taken two of the children to the doctor and was waiting at Wal-greens for their prescriptions to be ready.  Micah had made his way to the toy aisle where he had found his favorite thing that he plays with, Pokemon cards (and btw, if you can explain the fascination of trading cards to me I would love to hear it).  He asked me if he could by them.  After a lengthy conversation that involved questions like, "don't you have enough?" and "is that REALLY what you want to spend your money on?"  I conceded to allow him to spend his money on them.  We got the cards, the medicine, and we were on our way.
      Then it happened, one of those moments that I store in my mental Rolodex as a small win in this life of mine.  As we are driving back to the house Micah says to me, "Mom, I really need to pray about something tonight."
     I say, "what about, buddy?"
     Then he says, "well, I really need for God to help me learn how to store my treasures up in Heaven.  I mean, I really like Pokemon cards but I need to be storing up my treasures in Heaven."
     My heart swelled up so big and I felt so thankful.  I agreed with him that we would pray about that together.  Of course, then he followed up with, "Does that mean that when I die I get to take my Pokemon cards with me?"  That's my boy!  He was sort of serious and sort of joking, like he does so often.
     I just said to him, "No, buddy, the Pokemon cards will not go with you.  But, when you get to Heaven you will never look back and think, 'man I sure wish I had those Pokemon cards'.  The treasures in Heaven will be SO much better than our favorite things here on earth that we will never look back and wish we could go back and get our stuff."  At that, he was satisfied...for now.
     It was such a wonderful reminder of several things.  One, they ARE listening, even when I feel like I am talking to a brick wall.  Two, I AM making a mark on the world.  Four marks to be exact.  And three, this earth is not our home.  Christ has prepared a place for us where our treasures will be far beyond what we can even fathom while here one earth, where moths and rust can not destroy and thieves can not break in and steal.  Praise God!  Amen.

Homeschooling-First week down

     So, we had a good first week of homeschooling.  The kids were very excited about it and wanted to get started right away first thing Tuesday morning (Monday was a holiday).   Bella, especially, wanted to get started right at 8am like she did in public school.  The only difference is that her teacher in public school didn't have a 19 month old following her around all day, laundry that needs to be washed, breakfast dishes to be cleaned, or any of the other 20 things that I do on any given day.  Needless to say, she wasn't thrilled at first with the lack of "schedule" on our first day.  If I am allowed to be honest, I was pretty stressed at times, feeling that I was failing.  One time Bella said, "Mom, this doesn't feel like school at all."  Another time she said, "I don't think this is going to work."  And yet another time she said, "I am so afraid I am not going to learn anything."  All of these statements did not help my feelings that I was somehow failing my children.
     On Wednesday, it was another somewhat stressful day because Micah had a relapse of his stomach bug, so we did school very unconventionally, as we spent most of the day in the bed or on the bedroom floor while we did most of our work.
     After Wednesday, Michael and I decided that we were definitely going to use Time4learning for Math and Language Arts supplements and so on Thursday the kids were signed up for that and it helped A LOT!  They are able to log themselves on and do their work for a designated amount of time and for the most part they are pretty self-sufficient.  It is during that time that I will work one-on-one with one of the other children.
     By Friday the kids were getting used to the new schedule that we are forming.  We get up and begin to get reading around 7am.  (Aria and Victoria sleep until 7:30 since they are younger and require a little more sleep.)  Once the children are dressed, fed, and ready for the day then we sit in the living room to read our Bible lesson, discuss it, and pray.  Can I just say that this is my favorite thing so far about homeschooling the children?  We have ended their day for a long time now with reading the Bible but to begin the day with that and actually have an open-ended time to sit and talk about what we are learning is absolutely wonderful.
     After Bible, we straighten the house.  The kids help me clean the kitchen from breakfast and then they straighten their room and the living room.  Micah even washed his first load of laundry the other day, I was so proud.  This has been a big adjustment for the children because since we now have more time to get things like this done my expectations are higher for them.  It may take some time but eventually they will get it.
     Around mid-morning the kids do things that they can do pretty independently, like handwriting, reading, P.E. (they play Just Dance or they play outside) and math on the computer.  Then after lunch when the baby goes down for her nap we do Science, Geography, and Language Arts.
     A few things that I have noticed after this week is that I am SO much more tired at the end of the day and getting the laundry folded is impossible.  The children seem to be getting along MUCH better than they did when they were in school, probably because they are no longer so tired all the time.
     For the most part, I am very pleased with how things are getting started and look forward to seeing how things fall into place over the next days and weeks.

Homeschooling and Time4Learning.com

Two days from now our family will embark on a fabulous and terrifying journey into a whole new world.  The world is called "Homeschooling".  For all of reasons for homeschooling you can refer to my earlier post, that was the WHY?, this is the HOW?  I have read up on many, actually too many, curriculums for homeschooling.  There are WAY too many options out there, like deodorants and scrapbooking materials, the options are endless and daunting.  After years of research I finally settled on a curriculum, My Father's World.  I bought the curriculum and then something happened.  I began to think that maybe we needed to take a hiatus from "traditional" learning and try something a little more laid back and child directed.  A fellow homeschooling friend who has three boys turned me onto www.time4learning.com.  It is a computer based curriculum that is based on grade and/or level.  The children log into their own personal account and then follow the path through different topics.  After all the assignments on a particular lesson are completed, they are then tested on everything they have learned.  The website keeps track of all their assignments and grades which I can print out at report card time and turn into my cover school.  It will be used mainly for math assignments and also used as a supplement for Language Arts, History, and Science.  I haven't changed my mind about My Father's World, I plan to begin that in the fall when the new school year begins.  But, for now, I think this will be the easiest for all of us.  The transition from public school to homeschooling is a BIG one for everyone, so if we can do things that are fun and uncomplicated that will be best for all of us.  Also, another plus to using computer based learning is that it is VERY portable.  If we decide to go out of town, we just take the computer and some library books rather than a whole suitcase full of curriculum.  And they can move as fast or slow as they want/need to.  We are very excited about this and look forward to letting you know how the next 6 months go.

It's Official-10 Reasons Why

Well, I guess it's official.  Today I received the homeschool curriculum that I ordered and as I pulled each book out of the box there was a feeling of excitement and I must admit a feeling of fear.  I believe with all of my heart that this is what God is calling me to do at this time in our family but I must be honest and say that I am scared to death.  The battle between flesh and spirit is very evident right now.  My flesh cries out, "No more quiet days, no more alone time, no more running errands while the kids are at school."  But my spirit says, "The days are long, but the years are short."  

I have had several conversations since finally making this decision about "why" I have chosen to homeschool.  Unfortunately if I tried to write them all down, you would stop reading this blog about halfway through.  But, I thought I would try to give just a few.  Once again, not to convince anyone that what I am doing is right but to explain, and hopefully encourage anyone who might be on the fence.  You see, for too long I did not feel that I was qualified to teach my children.  I am not a teacher.  I do not have a teaching degree.  I am just a mom.  But, I have realized that makes me just as qualified, or even more so, to teach my own children.  For those of you who might be contemplating homeschool, but don't feel qualified, just remember this...noone knows and loves your children the way that you do.  And no matter what anyone tells you that makes you more qualified in my opinion.  Should everyone homeschool?  Absolutely not.  But, if you are feeling the call and don't because you are afraid, I am here to tell you, so are the rest of us.  Welcome.  Jump on in, the water is warm.

1.  My children are learning to do ONLY what they HAVE to do and nothing more.  I do not feel that they even realize their full potential of what they are capable of learning and the school is not pushing them to that.

2.  Bullying and social exposure- need I say more?

3.  Homework, in addition to the hours they already spend in school.  Not to mention that most of the time they haven't grasped the concept at school so we are spending additional time researching the method (because much has changed in 30 years) that they were taught so I can continue to teach it to them until they get it.

4.  They are not learning very important life lessons, like how to wash/fold clothes, clean up around the house, and cook because after being at school for 8 hours and then doing an hour of homework the last thing they want to do or I want to ask them to do is to do chores.  I feel they need to have some time to just be kids.

5.  They hate school but love learning.  I want my children to realize that they don't necessarily need a teacher in order to learn.  They are very capable of learning on their own and that when they make mistakes, that is good.  Mistakes are portals to discovery.

6.  I love the idea of being able to travel throughout the year and take our schooling on the road.  I also like the idea of being able participate in performances, scouts, sports, etc and not have to worry about them missing school or being too tired the next day because they didn't get enough sleep.  

7.  Being able to move at the child's pace and not the school or classrooms' pace.  Micah love science and math, but struggles with reading and writing.  Being able to spend more time on reading and writing and allow him to explore further the areas that he loves is very important to me.  

8.  I want to be able to teach my children about sensitive subjects like sex and drugs.

9.  I realized that I was already homeschooling my children with homework, and having a preying mantis as a pet, and all the other things I teach them every day.

10.  I love my kids and since I only have them for a few more years, I want to spend as much time with them before they are off on their own doing whatever it is that God will call them to do.

New Directions

It is amazing to me how true the Scripture is "The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps".  I have made so many plans for my life that much to my delight did not turn out as I had planned.  I planned to marry my college sweetheart, God directed me to Michael instead.  I planned to be married by the time I was 25, God didn't bring Michael into my life until I was 28.  I planned to be done having babies at two children, God surprised us with two more.  I planned to NEVER come back to Birmingham, God changed my heart and brought me "home".  I planned to live the American Dream, God is showing me His dream.  I planned to homeschool my kids from Kindergarten on, God didn't call me to homeschool until now.  This is just a small list that proves Proverbs 16:9.  I would love to say that I am done with planning my life and my kids lives, but it is in me, in us, to "plan" for the future.  The world tells us that it is smart to do just that.  Plan for children, plan for buying a house, plan for retirement, plan for a career...plan, plan, plan.  But, I am beginning to get it.  I need to stop planning.  The fact of the matter is if I had married my college sweetheart, I probably would be divorced by now.  If I had had children as young as I wanted to I would not have been a very good mom.  If I had stopped at two children I would have missed so much joy that my 3rd and 4th children have brought into my life.  If I were living the American Dream, I would be a slave to my things rather than free to serve.  And if I had begun to homeschool my children 5 years ago, well, who knows.  I am not really sure why God waited so long to give me a peace about homeschooling but He did and I am trusting that He has a very good reason.

I must say that I am SO excited and SO scared about homeschooling all of my children.  I want so much for all of us to just love everyday of it, but I know that is an unrealistic expectation.  I know that there will be days when we don't enjoy it at all.  But, I have had confirmation after confirmation that this is the new direction that God is taking our family.  I have no idea how long it will last, but we are taking it one year at a time.  My plan is to begin blogging more about this journey, and other journeys that God has us on.  Not really so much so that other people can read our story, but more so that I can have a record of the journey.  And if it winds up helping someone, then that is an unplanned blessing.

Bring the Rain! Really?

We sing this song in church by Mercy Me called "Bring the Rain". I have wondered many times how many people sing this song and REALLY mean what the words say (including myself). Bring me ANYTHING that bring you glory. WOW, that is a BIG statement! I have been reading David Platt's book Radical, he tells the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He says, "The reason God let these guys be thrown into a fiery furnace was so that they would come out on the other side without a drop of sweat on their brows and so that this pagan king would declare that the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego is worthy of praise in all nations and languages." WOW! They went through a trial so that God's GLORY would be seen and He would receive praise.  Do we really believe that these guys didn't have some fear and trepidation about what was going to happen when they were dropped down into the furnace? I am sure, being that they were human, that they did have fear, but I also am sure that they had resolve! They had resolve in their God and His ability to save them. They knew He would either save them in the fire or He would save them through the fire. They had the hope of their salvation, knowing that even if the fire where to completely consume them, they would be seeing God face to face in a short period of time. And when they came out on the other side not only was their faith strengthened but the heart and mind of a pagan king had been changed and the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob received the glory. That is pretty awesome if you ask me. So, as I look at what Michael and I are going through there is definitely some fear and trepidation but I think to myself that if my family can come out on the other side of this and our faith as individuals and a family has been strengthened, we have been a witness to the people around us that can strengthen their faith, and God is glorified, then I say "bring the rain"! Because I know that my God can save me and if He doesn't I still have the hope of my salvation and that brings me peace.

Below I have put the words of the song by Mercy Me- Bring the Rain. You can also listen to it on the link I have provided (I would encourage you to do this). To GOD be the glory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU

Bring the Rain-Mercy Me

I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

Little reminders

God is everywhere.  You don't have to look far to see His hand at work all around us.  He is in the beauty of our creation, a sunset, a rainbow, a smile.  He is in the skills and abilities of the people around us.  He is in the loving words and hugs of friends and family.  And sometimes He is in the stranger that helps us when we are stranded.

Yesterday morning was my first Sunday back singing at church since the baby has been born.  I was very excited.  I love to sing.  And more than that I love to worship God and encourage people to do the same.  It is one of my greatest passions.  I had gotten up early and decided to take my two oldest with me so Michael would only have two children that he would have to get ready.  I was running a little behind and couldn't find my cell phone, so I left without it, telling Michael to call me on a friends phone if he needed me.  We got in the car and headed to church.  I decided to go the back way through a neighborhood rather than taking the main road.  As I get into the neighborhood I feel the car start to sputter.  I look down and realize that the car is on empty.  I started contemplating turning around to try to get to a gas station but as I roled through the stop sign the car died.  My heart sunk because I was going to be late for our run-through.  It was at that point I realized I had left home without my cell phone.  Well, crap!  Not good!  Bella suggested that I go to the house that we were parked in front of.  As I approached the door I prayed that someone would be home, that they would not have children, that they would be awake.  I knocked on the door and around the corner comes this little elderly woman in her nightgown.  I mouth to her, "I am so sorry".  She comes to the door and I explain to her what happened and ask if I can use her phone.  As I walk into her house, it dawns on me that  I don't know my husbands new cell phone number.  Well crap!  Now what!  So I decide to try my cell phone thinking he will hear it.  Nope!  So, she suggests that her husband can take me to the gas station to get some gas in the gas can.  Another "oh crap" moment.  I had dinner at a friends house the night before and left my purse so I have no money.  As this point I start thinking that this woman is going to think I am crazy or that I am going to rob her or something.  I sit down on her couch to brainstorm while she gets her husband.  He comes in and suggests that he might have some gas in his gas can.  Low and behold a few minutes later I see him walking to the car with a gas can.  During those few minutes with this woman I learned that they go to a nearby church and that she has played the piano for them for 30 years.  She was so proud to show me her plaque that she had recieved in honor of her service at the church.  I asked her for prayer for my husband's job and our family.  She hugged me and I was on my way to church.  I got back in the car and my oldest said, "Momma, God showed up!"  I know, baby, He sure did!  

The story in the bible that jumped out at me later that morning was the story of Moses as he is leading the people through the wilderness.  He provided manna for them and told them to only gather enough for the day, any more than that would rot by the next day.  Funny thing is they even tested God in that tried to store up but it didn't work.  That morning God provided manna for me and the kids.  He didn't fill up my tank, He gave me just what I NEEDED to get me to church.  Thank you, God, for reminding me that you are there and that my family and I will be taken care of.  Amen!

Amazed

As I have time to think about our current situation I am amazed for so many reasons. Yesterday I spent the morning in my kitchen pulling things out of my cabinets that I don't need that I can put into a garage sale. I am amazed at how many things we moved into this house that we haven't used since we moved in. I am even more amazed that when we moved into this house 2 1/2 years ago we were in the same situation that we are in today, without an income. Why did I move all this stuff in the first place? I mean, really! How many bread loaf pans do we REALLY need. I think I only use one and I have 4. Crock pots-2, 9x13 casserole dishes-5, cake pans that I don't use, bunt pans I don't even know what to use them for, cups and glasses galore, and the list goes on. I am amazed that that is just my kitchen. I am amazed that just a few weeks ago my son asked me if we could have a garage sale and I told him that we didn't have enough stuff to put in a garage sale, and yet in about 2 hours I had three boxes of just kitchen stuff. (And a box of stuffed animals that my oldest brought in to contribute-I am amazed by her too!). 

I am also amazed that while we look at this time in our lives as temporary there are thousands upon thousands of people in our country and around our world that this is the reality of their daily lives. Read these statistics that I read:

1. On the national scale, Alabama has the 7th highest poverty rate at 16.1% of its population. It only has one county in which the poverty rate is in single-digits, and that is Shelby County with a poverty rate of seven percent.

2. About 39.8 million Americans were living in poverty in 2009, up from 37.3 million in 2007.
3. Almost half the world — over three billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day.

I know that we are not living in poverty.   I wouldn't want to offend anyone by claiming to completely understand what it is like to have to live under those conditions but when you realize you don't have an income you realize how blessed you are to have all that you do have, and then guilt sets in.  How can people, even people 20 minutes from me, live in such terrible circumstances while I have so much and me NOT do anything about it?   And yet I am amazed at how you can visit places where people live in poverty and yet there can be so much joy (although I know this isn't always the case).  I can not understand how that is even possible.  And yet, maybe there is some truth to the saying, "money can't buy happiness."  

So, our new motto:  LIVE ON LESS, SO WE CAN GIVE MORE.  

How Prophetic

Ok, so three days ago I posted how God had called us to a 3 month challenge in regards to our finances (for details read post for July 12th).  Well, obviously God was preparing us for something because yesterday Michael was laid off.  It's amazing that He had already prepared us by getting us into the mindset of living extremely modestly.  The greatest part about the whole thing is that we don't have to tell the children if we don't want to because they are not expecting to get ANYTHING extra for the next 3 months.  I mean, why burden their little minds if we don't have to.  I am also amazed at the support we have, not just from family and friends, but from very close friends who are also going through the exact same thing right now.  We have four other people who are close to us who have all lost their jobs in the past 2 weeks.

I will still be posting regularly what is going on with the Smith Family Challenge, it will just have a little bit of a different spin in light of the new circumstances.

Smith Family 3 month challenge

For years now God has been working in different areas regarding our finances and we have made many changes.  We stopped using credit cards, we got rid of satellite TV, we only have one cell phone, we drive cars that don't require us have a car payment, we don't go on fancy vacations, we live in a modest rental home, we wait for movies to come out on DVD rather than go to the movies, although we do splurge for family fun night occassionally:-).  We have scaled back in many ways.  It has been a process that has occurred over the past 5 or six years, although most of it happenned when Michael was unemployed for 6 months in 2008.  It has happenned so gradually that most of the time we haven't even felt the effects.  But in the past couple of months WITHIN our means, we have not done well with living on a budget.  So, at the end of the month, while all our bills are paid and we have had food and clothing and even some fun, what we don't have is extra.  Not extra to spend but extra to save and give.  I sat down with a calculator and our bills and our last months bank statement and devised a budget.  It includes necessities only.  It will be interesting to see how God uses this 3 months to grow us as a family.

Here are the rules of the 3 month challenge:
1.  We MUST live according to our budget and do a zero balance worksheet with each paycheck
2.  No eating out
3.  No new clothing (except for shoes for back to school)
4.  No household projects
5.  No new books, games, movies, etc.
6.  Kids must save every penny of their allowance for the 3 months
7.  We must find free things to do for date night and family nights

So there you go.  It will be hard but it will be fun to see how things turn out.  Stay tuned, I will be updating.

God Speaks

I don't know if any of you have ever witnessed a night terror but they can be one of the scariest things to watch. Both of my older children have had them. It started around the age of 4 for Bella. She would sit up in the bed hysterically crying with her eyes wide open. She would look straight at you but it was as if she could see straight through you. If you talked to her she would talk back, although most of what said you couldn't understand. The whole time she was inconsolable crying. It is so frustrating and scary to watch your child go through this and not me able to do anything. You just have to ride it out until it is over. And they eventually grow out of them. Micah started having them too and they were very much the same as Bella's only he would try to get away by backing himself up against the wall and he would wave his hands around as if he were trying to swat something away from him. The only things that seem to work were when we would pray over them or I would sing Amazing Grace. Sometimes that would calm them down pretty quickly but not always.

Bella hasn't had one in about a year or so. Micah just stopped a couple of months ago. But, the coolest thing happened right before Micah's ended. He had gone over to a friend's house to spend the night one night. the friend's parents are good friends of ours and are very strong Christians. The next night we were putting Micah down to bed and we were talking to him about his "bad dreams". We got out his Bible to do his devotional and I asked him if there was any scripture that he wanted to read. He said, "Yes. Proverbs 2:24." I opened up the Bible and this is what it says, "when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." I stopped and asked him if Trent had read that scripture to him the night before. He said, "I think so." So, Michael called Trent to say thank you for giving us such a great scripture to pray over Micah before he sleeps. Trent told Michael that he had not read that scripture to Micah the night before. That is when we realized that God Himself had given Micah the scripture. We have prayed that scripture several times over him and shortly after that his night terrors stopped.

The other really cool thing about it is that Micah is always talking about how God never speaks to him and how He can't hear God. But, when this happened it was clear that through God's Word he spoke to Micah. It was an amazing experience for all of us.

Thank you God. Thank you for your Word. Thank you that you love us enough to speak to us. Just give us the hearts and ears to hear You. Amen

What A Day

So, yesterday was by far the worst day that we have had with Victoria since she was born.  We went to church and she was just fine until the music was over.  It amazes me that she can sleep with the band playing and people singing and clapping, and then as soon as the sanctuary gets quiet (or somewhat quiet) and the pastor starts to preach she wakes up and starts fussing.  So, I had to leave the sanctuary several times because she would get quiet and then as soon as I would go back in she would wake up again.

After church we went home and she had a hard time napping all day.  We were going to go over to my in-laws house and let the kids swim after church.  She was so fussy that I sent Michael and the kids and I stayed at home with the baby.  I must be honest, initially this was nice, sending Michael and the kids out of the house to do something while I stayed in a quiet home with the baby, but for some reason yesterday it just made me sad.  I wanted so much to be with them swimming and getting sun.

Then last night she started crying at 6:30 and didn't stop until almost 9:00.  And it wasn't just fussing or crying for a little bit and then stopping, it was hard, intense, have to take her clothes off because she is profusely sweating kind of crying.  It is such a helpless and frustrating feeling to have a child who is crying and they can't tell you what is wrong and you can't do anything to help them.  I just held her and spoke to her and let her cry.  The crazy thing was that at around 9:00 it was as though someone flipped a switch and she was asleep.

The other thing that is so frustrating about the whole situationis that I miss the rest of my family.  When the baby gets like that I have to quarentine myself off in my bedroom.  I miss the kids and they miss me.  They have all said in one way or another that they miss me.  Bella has written it in a "Dear Dumb Diary" note, Micah has been real fussy and short-tempered, and Aria has flat out said "no one loves me, everyone loves the baby".  It is hard to watch my sister and my husband taking the kids swimming and having fun with them and I can't do that.

Ok, so I thank whoever said the phrase "The days are long but the years are short".  Man do I cling to that saying on days like yesterday.

And today, I must say, was a MUCH better day.  Thank you God!

1 month old picture

Taken by Sarah Cook of Cookwire Photograhy

1 month old today

I can hardly believe that it has been one month since our sweet Victoria joined our family.  The past four weeks have flown by and it is a sobering reminder that our children grow up so fast.  Sometimes alot faster than we would like...sometimes not fast enough.

She has just moved right in with the family and it is as if she was always here.  The children love her to death.  Bella loves to lay next to her and talk to her.  The fun thing is that Victoria has started talking back, which we all just love.  Aria wants to hold her all the time and thinks that the baby is her personal babydoll.  And Micah loves her head.  He loves to rub it and kiss it.  He says that he loves it because it is so soft.  I agree with him, I love to rub her soft head too.

She is smiling and talking alot more now, although it was around 2 1/2 weeks that she smiled for the first time, even if it was somewhat involentary.  It is so cute now because she is trying to figure out how to make sounds come out of her mouth so she is constantly making faces.

It is these things that make the fussy times more bearable.  As with most babies, she is getting more fussy as we approach 6 weeks old.  She is becoming more alert and with that comes increased fussiness.  It is hard sometimes but we know it is temporary.  This too shall pass and I know I will look back and miss this time.

41 weeks 1 day- Birth Day

Victoria Michelle was born today at 5:43pm.  She weighs 7 pounds 11 ounces and is 19 3/4 inches long.  She is beautiful.  I will write her birth story in the next couple of days.

Happy Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day, one of my favorite holiday's of the year. Nine (9) years ago I celebrated my first mother's day by bringing my baby girl home from the hospital. I was so overwhelmed with emotions as the nurses came in and told me that the OB and pediatrician were working on the paperwork and I would be released as soon as everything was done. "WOW, are you serious? Your going to let me leave the hospital with this new little life? Are you sure you know what your doing? Because I am so not sure I know what I am doing!" I was so scared. I was now responsible for this little person and I felt that I needed to know everything but actually knew nothing. Over the days, weeks, months, and even years, my new phrase became "I don't know." "Why is she crying? - I don't know." "Is she hungry?- I don't know." "What do you want me to do? (Michael would ask)- I don't know!" It was so frustrating at times because I thought before having children that I knew so much. I had babysat and nannied for years. I had so much experience with kids I thought I was a pro, but there is something totally different when you bring home a baby that belongs to you that you are responsible for completely.  But, what a blessing that little girl has been to me and our family.  Happy Mother's Day to me!

40 weeks 6 days- Celebrating Birth

Ok, so things are still the same. Contractions, cramping, backaches, but nothing is going anywhere. I know that people think I am crazy that I am still pregnant. Most thought I would deliver before now and since I haven't most people think that I am crazy not to schedule an induction. I know that it is not typical to "choose" to continue to be pregnant when there are so many things I could do to but really I truly believe that when she is ready she will come. There are so many risks to inducing labor including fetal distress with low heart rate, increased chance of c-section, and more painful labor requiring epidural. I know that the end result is the most important, having a healthy baby here, but that may not happen with induction. My doctor is totally fine with waiting so I am waiting too.

As anxious as I am to have her here with me in my arms, I am really ok with waiting. We spend 90% of our lives waiting for something. Once she gets here I will be waiting for her to sleep through the night. Then I will be waiting for her to smile at me. And then roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, etc, etc, etc. I just want to enjoy every moment that I have, and right now I have been a few extra days to enjoy my husband and children.

I have had one last date night with my husband, which was wonderful!!!!

Today went to Micah's soccer game. The weather was perfect and he thought it was great to have everyone there to cheer him on.

Then this afternoon we had a surprise birthday party for Bella. It was great. She was SO surprised. With the baby coming so close to her birthday I wanted so much to reassure her that her birthday will always be special to us. We had all the family over. Michael took her out while we waited for everyone to get here. When he got here we jumped out and surprised her. It was awesome. On the 11th she will be 9 years old. Unbelievable.

Anyway, we are waiting patiently and enjoying each other until we add another. Just keep praying for us.

40 weeks 4 days

We are still here as of 12:30pm. It's ok though. I am resolved and at peace with where I am. I am enjoying my kids, my husband, my sister, and my freedom. I have even planned a "date night" with my man tonight that he doesn't know aobut yet. I know he will be happy to have a night out with me before the baby gets here. If anything changes today, I will update. Otherwise I am going to take a nap and enjoy a night out with my husband.