I know I am blogging a lot lately but I told you I would.
Last weekend at church I finally decided to talk to someone about singing on Sunday mornings. Because the church doesn't have a worship pastor I wasn't sure who to talk to so I approached the pastor's daughter who is the admin over that department. After introducing myself I told her I was interested in getting involved in the worship ministry. She asked me if I had a tape or CD that they could listen to since they have no way of auditioning people and no choir to pull people from. Of course I don't, so she told me to fill out a volunteer card and she would contact me as soon as she knew something.
Well, today I got a phone call from a lady from the church. She informed me that there are no available spots for worship team at this time and she was unable to tell me how long it would be before there would be. She recommended some other ministries to volunteer for and that was that. Unfortunately, my first reaction after hanging up was, "I don't WANT to do anything else, I want to sing." I was sad because when it comes to ministry singing and leading worship are my "first loves." But then I sat down and started to pray about what I should do. Should we go to a different church where I can sing? Should I give up on singing altogether? Should I find the head worship leader and talk to him directly? And I felt a question rise up in me. You said that you would do what you could do and let God do the rest, did you really mean that? Well, here's where the rubber meets the rode. Walk in faith and trust God to make this happen in His timing, under His circumstances, or get bitter. I've decided to trust in God and allow Him to direct my path from here on out. This is so hard for me because when you love something as much as I love leading worship you don't want to wait. What I really want is to pick up where I left off before we left Texas, and that is just impossible.
So, for now I am going to find another place to serve in the church where I know God has us. But sadly, there will be no more singing for Jen...at least not for a while. (God I miss Firewheel!!!) : )
2 comments:
That sucks Jen, I know how much leading worship meant to you and how much singing was an expression of your love for Christ, but I love your attitude about it I don't know that I could do that. Trusting God is not something I've ever been good at I always want to and with the arrival of Dealey my thoughts have been on that very subject but instead of saying okay I'll trust you now I can't seem to let go of the fact I waited for 8 painful and torcherous years to get my miracle I wish I could just understand the whys sometimes..... your strength a faith have always been inspirational......hugs...kitty
dear friend....feeling your pain where drama ministry is concerned. Fully do not expect to have anything to do with drama minsitry for a good while. Hoever, that hasn't kept me from thinking about dramas to write, writing in general, or being dramatic. Not singing in church shouldn't keep you from singing. Remember sister, it's not about you. Tough love. You're going to have to repeat that sentence to me in the very near future. Much love to you. Sing girl....sing unto the Lord even if no one else hears you. Sing! And quit crying!
Celeste
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