So, we just finished Secret Church and one of the things that really hit me was, a couple of years ago a very renowned and well known atheist, Penn, from Penn and Teller, made this statement. “If you truly believe as a Christian that what the Bible says is real and true, and you believe in a place called Hell, then how much do you have to hate someone not to tell them how to avoid that place.” (see YouTube video for full testimony by Penn)
David repeated that again tonight. He repeated, “How much do you have to hate your neighbor, your co-worker not to tell.” You know, this is not just an emotional feeling. And it's not just following a religion. I hate "religion", it is legalistic and dangerous. What I am talking about is a relationship, not based on some man-made creation, but based on the Word of God. Some people will call me simple minded, or ignorant, or narrow-minded, or unintelligent, and I am ok with all of those labels because I know different. I have walked with the Lord for 15 years. The person I was for the first 26 years of my life, while there are most certainly remnants of that old person, I am VERY different now. And that is nothing short of a miracle. I did not "will" myself out of depression, jealousy, insecurity, hatred, anger, bitterness, and fear. I was delivered from it. I have read the Scriptures, I have tested His Word, and I have found it to be true. I have dug, and I have wrestled. This not some simple minded, unintelligent decision that was made, it was fought after. If this is not real, then what's the point. If Jesus did not live on this earth, come in the form of a baby, live the perfect life, die a brutal death, hang on a cross, die for all the sins that I have commited, stay dead in tomb for 3 days, and then rise again IN BODY, witnessed by 500 people over a period of 40 days, and then ascend into Heaven to sit down at the right hand of God interceding on my behalf, if that is not true, then my life is a joke.
Now, I can argue some points, and my knowledge of Scripture has grown considerably in the past 15 years, but the evidence of this truth is not the fact that I can quote Scripture, the evidence of the truth is that I am not the same. I have been made new, and am continually being made new. Have I attained perfection? Not even close. Will I ever attain perfection? Not this side of Heaven. But I will go to the grave believing that the Bible is Truth. So, how much do I have to hate someone not to tell if I really believe all of this? I have to tell, and possibly suffer the persecution for that. And I have to be ok with that. I am ok with that. Do I want to be persecuted? Do I want to be hated and ridiculed and talked about and lied about and possibly sought after ? Do I want that for my children? No, not in my flesh. My flesh wants to live comfortable and sit in my living room and watch movies and hang out with my family and be around people who believe the same way as I do. To have my husband bring home money so we can have great stuff. BUT, but my spirit wants something different. We have been called to something greater and the call is to go and tell.
If I am wrong, and there is no hell, and everyone will go to Heaven regardless, or if I am wrong and there is nothing after death, then I have nothing to lose. I lived a good life, I did good. But, if I am right, and I don't tell, then you lose. The people whom I don’t tell, lose. And I can’t live with that.
So forgive me, but I will not be silent. Or, don’t forgive me. I don’t guess it really matters if you forgive me or not because I believe with all of of my heart that I am forgiven by the only one who really matters, and that is God Himself. And I realize that there will be people who will read this blog and they WILL NOT agree with me, and that’s ok. I am ok with that. I ask you to talk to me, email me, post a message, Facebook me...I may not have the answers and if I don’t I will try my best to find them, and if there is no human answer then I will let you know. God has revealed Himself to us in many ways through His word, but there are some things that He does not explain and those are mysteries, things that we could not possibly understand even if He tried to explain them to us. So, I am not ashamed of the gospel. I will not be silent.
I ask you to pray for me, my husband, and our children as we seek God’s will for our family.I ask that you help us figure out where we need to be. Where we need to be in this country. Where we should go if we are to leave this country? How we can be a part of declaring to the nations the Gospel and what does God want us to do? Does God want us to adopt? Does God want us to go to another country? Does God want us to stay and minister here. Lord, you have the answers? Help us find them.
