The most important blog post I'll ever write

Over the last few days I have thought a lot about John Isaac's little heart. It is amazing how a person can live with a heart defect and show little to no sign that the heart is not functioning properly.  People who meet me and see John Isaac are completely unaware that there is any problem. And unless you know what to look for it's easy to miss it.  In a few short weeks we will place him in the hands of a surgeon and (God willing) that surgeon will fix John Isaac's heart.  We have been told that it should take one surgery and that is it but we have also been told that while his heart will function well enough to enable him to have a full, active life it will never function the way a healthy heart with no defect would.  You see, even after his heart is fixed it will still be broken.  There are a lot of risks with this surgery, but without it he definitely will not live.

As I think about all of these realities it occurred to me that we all are like John Issac.  We are all born with a heart defect.  Our defect isn't a physical one but a spiritual one, and while our hearts may function properly to physically keep us alive, we are spiritually dead (Eph, 2:1, Col 2:13). When we come into this world our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9) and we do not seek God (Romans 3:11).  Our hearts are broken and we need a physician to fix it.  It is not something that will repair itself, or that we can fix on our own.  Jesus is the great physician, He says that He came to heal the broken hearted (Isaiah 61:1, Luke 4:18). But the amazing thing is that when He heals our hearts. He says that He doesn't just fix the heart that we have but rather he gives us an entirely new heart (Ezekial 11:19, 36:26).

At the end of the day John Isaac's physician can fix his heart but he can't heal it. That is only something the Great Physician, Jesus Christ, can do. It is a miracle I experienced almost 20 years ago. I can not explain how it happens I just know that it does. If He can do it for me, then I know He can do it for you too.

2 months old already!!

9 weeks old already. I can hardly believe it's been over two months. For the most part it's been life as usual, just the normal stuff that comes with having a new baby in the house. The only major difference has been the slow weight gain. I'm used to chunky babies but getting weight on this little guy has been very difficult. We are finally seeing gains with the coconut oil. He's up to 8lbs 5 1/2oz. Whoop!! He is starting to smile a little bit, but not consistently. He has a little dimple on his face by his mouth that is so cute. His therapy sessions are going great. He is trying to roll over and is holding his head up better every day. This child is going to be so spoiled by the love and attention he gets from his siblings. We all adore him.

We head back to the cardiologist next Tuesday so prayers that the doctor will have wisdom about when his surgery should happen would be appreciated. And also pray for peace for me and Michael. When we are just living life every day with him it is easy to forget that he is sick because he shows very little sign that his heart isn't functioning properly (which is a great thing). But when we go to the cardiologist it is a reminder that there is a big problem, that he is sick, and that he is in congestive heart failure. Those days are very hard and emotional.  Last week when I met with the nutritionist she took me on a tour of the ICU where he will be after his surgery. As I walked around the area I was greeted by kind, smiling faces of the nurses 
caring for the babies but as I left it occurred to me that they were smiling at me and fawning over John because they new that he would be there soon. That was a hard reality to deal with. I'm trying to look at pictures of other children who have been through this surgery to prepare myself for a the machines and tubes but I wonder if you can ever really prepare. Besides, it's different when it's your own child and your seeing it in person. 

It is my hope that we can hold off on surgery until the other children are done with school and I have been able to celebrate Bella and Victoria's birthdays in which are May 10th and May 11th. We are also hoping to surprise the kids and take them on a long weekend to one of the Phoenix Condos in Orange Beach. I hate to say that my children have only been to the sandy white beaches of Gulf Shores once and that was right after my dad's death. We really would love to do this before surgery since it will be difficult to do it after. So if the doctor says we can put off the surgery until mid-May then we can do these things with the older children.  Of course, nothing is more important than John Isaac's health so that takes precidence and if the doctor feels it is best to go ahead with the surgery then of course we will do that.  

Thank you for your prayers. We couldn't do this without all of your love and support.